10 ways to ruin a first date


With this article, I thought I would be less conversational and more direct in my approach and advice on dating:

1. Send text messages or receive calls

Maybe when you go to the bathroom you can tell your friend or best friend how you’re doing in a couple of words.

Nothing says “You’re not important right now” than having the reflective light in your face during the date. If the date was important to you, you would have told your closest friends and they should know you’re not available anyway.

Sometimes I leave my phone in my car if I knew I would be tempted.

2. Schedule a date at a noisy bar or club.

Nothing is more annoying than having to struggle to connect with your date and having to repeat yourself, or catch your date looking at a go-go dancer. Awkward.

I always like to suggest a place where I have been before and experienced the atmosphere first hand.

3. Drinking too many drinks

Nothing says “I’m a tramp or a gold digger” faster than that. I don’t have to reiterate.

4. Expecting the other party to pay

Yes, even if a gentleman offers you a ride, you should always offer and be cordial. Even be polite and ask to leave a tip. Little things like that can leave a lingering positive impression at the end of the date.

Sometimes, if the date is going very well, take the opportunity to say “I’ll pay for dessert,” allowing the date to drag on if things are going well.

5. Dressing as if you were going to the club afterwards

Nothing says “I fit you in” than dressing like you’re going to the beach, which I think a lot of gay men do to fit the “club attire” bill. Dating is a special occasion, so treat it as such.

“I always say less

is more for my customers.

6. Not doing your homework

You probably met him at an event or through a dating website, so find out what his interests are and take an interest in those things.

If you only talk about her interests, the conversation will seem one-sided and self-serving. Asking him about his interests will make him feel like you took the time to see things in his world: great brownie points to get there!

7. Arriving late

Fifteen minutes is totally excusable, especially in Los Angeles, but more than that it’s a big no-no. More than that, it sounds like you didn’t manage your time well and didn’t value the appointment as much as the other person, who was on time, did.

I wouldn’t recommend fitting in an appointment if you know you have an important commitment beforehand. It’s always good to arrive early and set the tone that you are a professional.

I’ve been on appointments that I just left if I passed the half hour mark. No one wants to feel like they wasted their time and made arrangements to see you!

8. Hearing your voice for the first time on your first date.

If I could dismantle text messaging, I would. Know where your investment is. Know your intonation and personality, which gives you a phone conversation.

I always tell my clients that less is more. Don’t reveal too much. Keep the intrigue and mystery there.

9. Not keeping your promises

I have so many clients tired of dating. If you say you’ll be somewhere, you must be there.

Your word is your bond, and if your word is bitter, no one will take chances with you again. None of this rescheduling 12 to 24 hours in advance, unless the situation is absolutely emergent.

Replacing your appointment with the best choice will damage your reputation. We all know everyone knows everyone, so be careful.

10. Treat the appointment as an interview

As far as your date is concerned, ping-pong matches are much more fun than a solo game of racquetball. Let the conversation seem fluid: a give-and-take rather than a rough game of tug-of-war.

Sometimes I get guys who have been so burned in past relationships that they literally go in for questioning and the other guy feels like he’s being interrogated. Those guys shouldn’t be dating (in my opinion).

So there are 10 great tips for you! Maybe you should keep them handy on your next date.


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