The illustrious first date can come with a combination of excitement and nervousness, leaving you speechless and paralyzed as you sit across from that hottie not knowing what to say next.
Never fear! Below is a list of possible topics you may have at your disposal in case your mind goes blank or if one of those awful silent moments occurs.
Be careful, there are also certain topics you should avoid so as not to risk offending him or making him want to bolt from the scene.
1. Discuss your requirements for a relationship.
These first dates are intended for you to analyze if the two of you have any compatibility to explore further.
2. Do not interrogate the poor.
You can ask him what he’s looking for in a guy and subtly ask questions geared to your own needs without seeming too heavy-handed.
3. Talk about current events in the news or media.
These topics can add levity to your discussions and are a good way to filter your knowledge and social awareness.
4. Don’t talk about something you don’t know much about.
You will appear to be lacking in intelligent conversation.
If you are unfamiliar with current events, now would be a good time to brush up on the news and have an arsenal of topics and wisdom on hand in case you need it.
5. Talk about gay issues.
Are you “out”? How involved are you in the gay community?
You should evaluate any possible internalized homophobia or values surrounding homosexuality that may not be compatible with your positions.
If both values are similar, how do you feel about it?
6. Do not discuss monogamy or explicit sexual acts you desire.
The time will come to talk about these important topics, but they can be a little heavy-handed on a first date before you’ve had a chance to establish some camaraderie.
The same rule applies when talking about politics, religion and money.
7. Talk about interests and hobbies.
He wants to know if the two share any similarities in recreation and leisure activities.
Ask her for examples of experiences and ask what she likes best about those things.
“Be creative and adept at how to
you continue with your conversations.
8. Don’t talk too much about yourself.
A balanced conversation between you and him is critical so it doesn’t feel like a one-sided date.
Be sure to have a balanced dialogue so that you both feel you are contributing something.
9. Talk about your passions and inquire about theirs.
Nothing energizes a conversation more than a person talking about something that is meaningful to them.
Ask lots of questions to show interest and curiosity about what you are talking about.
10. Don’t judge or minimize what he says.
He should never do this, even if it is contrary to what he likes to do. Validate the importance that this passion has for him.
11. Talk about family and friends.
And inquire about their relationships with them. You can learn a lot about a person by the types of attachments they have with people.
Are you close to them or disconnected from them? How do you talk about these people in your life, with adoration or negativity?
12. Don’t give a detailed history of your past dramas.
The more you hear about any family dysfunction, the more your eyes will be drawn to the door.
Try to save that history for later, when you can assess whether you can trust it.
13. Talk about your visions for the future.
What do you expect to be doing five, 10 or 20 years in the future? Do you seem to have comparable plans for the future?
Career, marriage and parenthood may be something to mention here.
14. Don’t be too strong.
Also, avoid agreeing with the things you say just because you want to make it work. This can be stifling and sometimes seems disingenuous.
15. Talk about appointments.
And talk about how you envision an ideal dating lifestyle.
Sometimes it can be fun to swap horror stories of past dates, but keep them to a minimum so she doesn’t get the wrong impression of you.
A long history of failed dating relationships can make you look like a train wreck.
16. Don’t hit your ex-partners.
This adds a climate of negativity to your date and might make him wonder if you could ever talk about him that way.
It could also lead him to think that you might be a negative person.
These are just a few ideas out of a large number of topics you can choose from. Remember, every topic and question you ask is designed to assess whether you and the guy sitting across from you have “goodness of fit.”
Be creative and skillful in the way you conduct your conversations so that it seems natural and flows smoothly. Have fun and remember to laugh – humor is sexy and goes a long way!
What do you usually talk about on a first date? Have you ever mentioned any of these taboo topics?