How many times have we reflected on the missed opportunities and silly mistakes we made during our dating years and thought, “If only I knew then what I know now.” The beauty of starting over after all these years is that you now know all the things you didn’t know when you were young, so this time should be easy in comparison.
Still, it’s not easy to dust off the old charm and deliver the confidence you need to impress a new lady who’s been around the block once or twice. You might think that by now you should be immune to first date jitters, but you’ll be much more relaxed if you know you have a great date planned that she’ll love.
Have an appointment during the day.
This may be the first time your date has been with a new man in many years. Even if she is an active person, she has more worries on her mind now than when she was a carefree teenager or young adult. She probably has grown children and a long history of fidelity to one man.
It may take her a little while to feel comfortable in the company of a new guy, to be seen in public with him and to experience his touch, even if he’s just holding hands. You want to put her in the least threatening situation you can.
A daytime stroll by the lake or in the park will create less pre-stress for her than a night on the town. She won’t have to worry (as much) about what to wear, how her hair looks or how women wear makeup these days.
It’s low pressure for her without a lot of the preconceived romantic expectations to worry about that go along with dinner and dancing or a movie and drinks.
A leisurely walk with a stop at a quaint uptown restaurant, and maybe a swing at the Dairy Queen on the way home, might be just the way to win her heart with a fun afternoon of conversation, fresh air, sunshine and confidence-building activities. .
You can also try a museum, an art exhibit, a free concert in the park or any activity during the day. Surprise her with a brief smack on the lips and some nice words when you drop her off at her door as well.
“You want to show him.
respect it and take care of it.
Meet at the bookstore and see what happens.
This could be a day or evening date. Find a bookstore in a nice shopping center that has a coffee shop inside. There are plenty of topics of conversation around you, and you can learn about each other by the things you like to read, whether it’s magazines, newspapers or books. You can also share a hot or cold drink and good conversation while planning your next adventure for the afternoon or evening.
From there, it’s a short walk to a variety of fast food, family, ethnic or upscale restaurants. Movies, people-watching, window-shopping or just walking in the cool evening air can be an amazing experience for you and your lovely lady.
You can let fate or their interests determine the course of the date. If things don’t go well, either of you can end it at any time without an awkward or lame excuse.
In style.
You may very well meet a high-maintenance girl with more formal expectations for a date. When you suggest Chipotle to her, she may tell you that if you want to date a lady like her, you’ll have to take her to a five-star restaurant with music and drinks. Or he may be a man of means who wants to impress her and woo her in style.
If she’s ready for a formal date, dress to kill. Be sure to tell her how beautiful she looks. She may not have listened to you for a long time and may have stopped feeling attractive.
She took a long time to get ready for you, so notice some of the little things: her hair, her nails, her shoes, her brooch, and express the appreciation you feel for being in the company of a lovely lady.
Bring a nice bouquet when you pick her up and let her put them in a vase at home so she doesn’t have to carry flowers all night. Put out a single flower for her to take and ask the maître d’ for a vase when she gets her table.
Start with wine and an appetizer before you even look at the dinner menu. Talk until she laughs and begins to relax. If he has trouble deciding between two entrees later, tell him to order one and you order the other for yourself. Then you can share.
Sharing bites of a meal can be very romantic and adds a personal and intimate feeling to the experience. A brandy Alexander, a grasshopper or other dessert drink afterwards would be a nice finishing touch.
They’re not kids, so they don’t have to wait forever to get romantic. But romance on the first date should be enough to light the fire. A warm embrace and a magical kiss on her doorstep could be the perfect ending. Now you have the intuition and the skills to know if she’s in the mood for that.
No, you’re not going to jump her bones on the first date. You want to show her that you respect her and care about her. But you also want her to know that she can still turn a man on and that you’ll be able to satisfy her every need as soon as she’s ready.
