Many single men over 50 have confided in me as a dating coach that they just want to be lazy when it comes to dating, courtship and romance now that they are older.
Sure, their hormones aren’t wired the same way their twenty-something counterparts are, but a mature man who has found his beloved still makes an effort and pursues her.
If that baby boomer guy you’ve just started seeing asks you to become exclusive after only the second date, it’s time to watch for warning signs that it’s too soon to commit and get off the market.
Boomer men have usually been married at least once by the time they are in the senior dating pool, so they often already have an idea of what to say to get a woman’s attention.
Mature men know that single women want to commit to a man who wants a relationship. However, if he’s racing toward that finish line too fast, that’s a red flag.
1. He just doesn’t know you well enough yet.
With romantic love, men fall in love with the essence of a woman first, so it is possible that he could be in love with you after two dates.
But if you two just met through that cool senior dating site, then your first date was really just a time to get to know each other, which barely qualifies as a date.
You want to make sure that the two of you know each other and share weekly activities for at least a month before considering your request for exclusivity.
“Give your relationship
it’s time to put down roots.
2. It prevents you from dating other men.
It’s one thing to dabble in exclusivity in your 20s when you’re too young to consider marriage, but you want to step out of the dating pool for a year or more at this stage of your life for someone who isn’t looking to marry you?
Becoming a couple changes your entire social life and prevents you from seeking out and meeting additional mature men who might actually be a great match for you.
3. He is still auditioning to win the groom’s job.
The way a relationally minded man treats you while courting you is his time to listen to his behavior with you.
You should look for what his love language expresses to you during this courtship phase of the relationship before allowing him the prize of winning the coveted boyfriend position in your heart.
When he picks you up for your appointments, does he always open the door for you? Does he always pay for your appointments?
And while the two of you may feel it is premature to discuss the M-word, have you at least begun to talk about your desire to get married and what you want in a marriage?
It’s always flattering when a man wants to be exclusive with you, and your heart skips a beat. However, be sure to give your relationship some time to take root.
Continue to meet new people every week and go on dates.
When you have seen his heart, mind and behavior demonstrated for some time and feel that he is a wonderful man for you, then you can give his romantic request your “Yes!”