I meet women regularly who describe themselves as bisexual and want to date lesbians, but often find it difficult to do so.
Bisexual women tell me that lesbians ignore them or don’t even give them a chance. Is that bi-phobia or just lesbian common sense?
Here are five tips to help you better understand what goes through a lesbian’s mind when you say you’re interested.
1.Women are softer than men, but harder to date
Get it? Dating women is not easy.
If you want something easy, date men. Men are simple and only want three things: sex, food and sports. Women are complicated and want about 100 different things to keep them all present and working.
Women are moody and difficult to understand and date, so don’t expect it to be easy just because you’re a woman who wants to date women. It just isn’t.
2.Lesbians think bisexuals are like late lesbians.
That means a lesbian is saying to herself, “Oh my, another woman who is just curious and not serious!”
Women who come out later in life have to take time to show that they are serious about being a lesbian. Lesbians who have been out all their lives want to know that a woman has had her cherry popped.
No one wants to be the first love of a late lesbian who expects too much, and no one wants to be the experiment of a bisexual woman.
3. Lesbians want certainty in their lives.
Lesbians are probably more so than others when it comes to risking their heart. Bisexual women bring a higher level of uncertainty than the average lesbian.
Lesbians think you could easily pick a guy (which makes you very much like late lesbians) and, therefore, your intentions are subject to doubt.
Are you ready to do whatever it takes to create that feeling of certainty for the lesbian you want to date? That could include everything from giving up men as friends in your life to attaching yourself at the hip to prove that your lesbian is the only person you want to be with.
Lesbians are not attracted to women just because they are women
Most women tell me it’s rare that they meet a woman they are truly sexually attracted to and desire, so put aside the lesbian myth that says we’ll accept anyone with a clitoris between their legs.
Just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean a lesbian will be attracted to you. You’re going to have to do the same work that all lesbians do to get dates and find someone who actually finds you attractive and vice versa.
And that, my friend, means a lot of going out and meeting a lot of women until you find the chemistry and attraction.
5.Most lesbians are serial monogamous.
That means we’re actually not that promiscuous and don’t run around having as much casual sex. As a bisexual woman, you’ll have to counter the myth that you’re promiscuous and will have sex with men and women with abandon.
I know that’s not true, but many lesbians don’t. Again, your work is done so you can convince a lesbian that you’re not promiscuous and won’t run around with guys behind her back, which for most lesbians is the ultimate sin: letting a penis visit you. vagina. ewww!
So here are five tips that can help you better understand the lesbian terrain and the obstacles you will face on your way to finding lesbian love.
There are no guarantees in life, but I know that when lesbian love happens, it’s the best I’ve ever known. Good luck!