One thing that bisexual people most deplore is when people dismiss their sexual orientation as a passing experimental phase or that they must choose one gender or the other.
In our world, we are threatened by things we don’t understand, and this is particularly true in the often taboo area of sex. The truth of the matter is that sexuality is not binary. It is flexible and fluid, and bisexuality is in fact a valid and real orientation.
Because of the “either/or” culture we live in, there is very little information for bisexuals in terms of resources or information about dating or sexuality.
One of the few great books on bisexuality is the classic “The Bisexual Option” by Dr. Fritz Klein, although it is predominantly clinical and analyzes it from an identity perspective (a good read and highly recommended if you are interested in this topic).
All one has to do is browse the Internet to find a plethora of sites dedicated to heterosexual and homosexual relationship issues. Bisexual help is often dismissed or made invisible, a possible consequence of biphobia.
What follows are some dating tips to help fill in that missing information gap.
If you are a single, bisexual person, feel free to add some of your own tips in the comments section to share wisdom and help others in the community.
1. Developing resilience in the face of ignorance
Because many people have a black or white view of sexuality, you are likely to encounter others who may be uncomfortable with your sexual preferences.
Working on having a strong sense of self, solid self-esteem and pride in one’s bisexual identity can go a long way in dealing with the ignorance and misunderstandings that exist about one’s sexuality.
Some straight people will be put off by your same-sex attraction. Some gay people will be angry or insecure that you don’t “just accept” that you are really gay, or fear that you will ultimately leave them for the other gender at some point in your relationship.
Know the difference between when education is warranted and when there is a true misalignment of compatibility with a dating perspective based on these worldviews.
2.Make a list of personal requirements for a relationship.
By listing your negotiable and critical needs, you can use this as a screening tool when meeting and evaluating prospects for potential dating and relationship material.
As a bisexual single, the true goodness of fit will come from the combination of attraction, emotional connection and alignment of values and visions for the future as opposed to a particular gender.
At the top of the list will likely be someone who can affirm and accept their sexuality and holistic preferences.
3. Clarify how you are going to express your bisexual energies.
Once involved in a committed relationship with someone, how will you choose to express your bisexual attractions? If you are involved with a man, how will you contact and handle your eroticism towards women and vice versa if you are involved with a woman?
Repressing any attraction can lead to a more pronounced emphasis on the part that is being repressed, and this can generate ongoing frustration and tension.
This dilemma is often easily remedied in societies where there is an open relationship agreement and sexual liaisons outside the relationship are allowed within certain established limits.
For those in monogamous relationships, it will be necessary to implement more creativity to find outlets to meet those sexual needs that are pleasing to both partners.
For example, if one is involved in an opposite-gender relationship, some potential examples for managing same-sex desires may include fantasy, masturbation, pornography, phone or webcam sex, etc.
The key to monogamous and open/polyamorous relationships is to have open and honest communication with the partner about the situation, come to mutual agreements to protect the integrity and commitment of the relationship, and review the agreement periodically to make sure you are both still on the same page about things or to determine if modifications are needed.
4. Learn about safer sex practices.
Bisexuals have unique risk profiles when it comes to sexual practices and sexually transmitted infections.
Get access to reliable information about safer sex procedures to help reduce the risk of unintended pregnancy and the transmission of HIV and other STIs. Know your status and get tested regularly if you are intimate with multiple partners.
5. Determine how you will appear
Perhaps the biggest area of controversy in dating as a bisexual person is the decision about whether and when to tell a potential prospect that you are bisexual.
Some bisexual singles never tell their partner, without seeing the relevance since they are committed to that person. Others tell a date in advance before dating, while another segment makes a personal disclosure after they have established a connection with someone, but before getting serious.
Whichever scenario you choose, the important thing is that your decision is aligned with your value system and the protection of your partner is paramount.
However, all of this manifests itself in your relationship will help dictate your decision-making process, while recognizing that a healthy relationship is based on openness, honesty and authenticity and that an “open” bisexual identity can allow for greater disinhibition and freedom to be. oneself.
What are your thoughts on whether and when to tell a potential partner about your bisexuality? What are some other dating tips you can offer to help spread the wisdom?
