Here we are again. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and you may be wondering why you’re spending another Valentine’s Day alone.
You tell yourself that it’s no big deal and that it’s just a normal day like any other, but a slight sense of discomfort begins to creep over you when people ask you how you’re going to celebrate.
You may even feel a little envious as you watch your friends in a couple make plans to court your special someone for the occasion.
Over time, it begins to eat away at him and he can’t help but wonder: Why am I still single?
As a matchmaker, I have the pleasure of witnessing the formation of new gay couples on a daily basis, so when I say that YOU too can come out and find a relationship that is perfect for you, I believe it with all my heart.
If you’re reading this, I can be 100% honest and tell you that I can’t tell you why YOU find yourself single this Valentine’s Day without knowing your situation.
I can tell you that throughout my career, I have identified certain qualities or disciplines that generally separate the “happily single” versus the “hopelessly engaged”.
These are my five favorites.
1. It’s really not that important to you.
There’s nothing wrong with being single. I hear guys complain about it, but they never really do anything to fix it.
This leads me to believe that it is not really a priority for them because if it were, they would be taking the necessary steps to move forward.
It has been my experience that singles who are serious and successful at dating tend to take advantage of all their resources and actually go out and meet people, so if finding a relationship is really important to you, you should commit to continuing on at least one date per week.
You will not succeed unless you start taking action.
“Until you start taking a chance on love,
your returns will be limited “.
You are not ready for a relationship.
This is a big problem for me.
If you’re unhappy with your single gay life, a relationship won’t fix it.
Too many times I meet gay guys who live their lives in utter chaos and hope to bring someone else into the mix thinking it will make things easier.
Sorry, but that almost never works.
Concentrate your efforts on improving your quality of life. Take care of your business and start enjoying your bachelorhood.
Your life doesn’t stop just because you’re not in a relationship, so make sure you clean up your personal problems and live life to the fullest.
This will automatically open the doors to a satisfying relationship with yourself and with someone special.
Not knowing enough people.
People who successfully date in relationships often maintain a presence in several different social circles.
Why? It increases your hunting ground.
If you hang out with the same people and do the same things over and over again, you will never meet new and interesting people.
Venture out and start making new contacts. Invest in a hobby and start meeting new people who enjoy doing some of the things you like to do.
There will never be a dull moment and your chances of meeting “Mr. Right” will automatically increase.
4. Too many decisive factors.
Everyone has deciding factors, but when the deciding factors start to read like a shopping list, you may need to revisit the drawing board.
This is a form of self-sabotage.
You should only have three to five absolute deal breakers. Anything more than that and you start to drastically decrease your chances of dating quality men.
It’s okay to have standards and be picky about who you choose to invest your time, but put yourself in check and make sure you’re not being unrealistic.
5. You are afraid to take risks.
Fear is one of the most common things that keep single gay men single, but you must realize that until you start taking a chance on love, your gains will be limited.
Gay men who come out for the purpose of finding a relationship tend to succeed because they are looking for it.
They accept the idea that it may not work out for them in the long run, take the risk and don’t let that stop them from putting themselves out there and giving it their all.
How are you getting out of the rut this Valentine’s Day?
