Lipstick lesbians, or should we say feminine looking lesbians, have a hard time getting lesbian dates. Most lesbians assume you are straight and hanging out at a lesbian bar or event.
Your beauty and closet completely confuse most lesbians. We wonder why on earth you would wear heels. They’re hideous, painful and downright dangerous. We also wonder how the hell you stay warm in those tiny outfits you’re in.
Most lesbians are actually intimidated by lipstick lesbians. Lesbian relationships can already be full of drama, and looking at a woman who accentuates all things feminine can ignite the fear that the drama is as high as those 8-inch stilettos you’re teetering in.
Every lesbian gets to decide who she is and how she appears in our little lesbian nation, so from the lipstick lesbians’ mouths, this is what they want us other lesbians to stop doing.
1. Say that she is not a real lesbian.
You shouldn’t say she’s not a lesbian just because she’s ultra-femme, wears makeup, heels and very high dresses, has long hair and is always considered straight even when she’s queer like Jack of Hearts.
2. Thinking she is confused or pretending to be bisexual.
She totally plays for girls, loves girls and may have never visited the boys’ locker room. Lipstick lesbians love their lipstick and girls lips.
Perhaps you might consider enjoying the fact that she always smells good, loves to be combed up and down nicely and just ignore her big bag of makeup.
“She is no longer confused.
than a lesbian who is butch”.
3. Assuming he only wants to date butch lesbians.
Not all lipstick lesbians want to date butch women. Some want to date other feminine looking lesbians. Yes, that’s real and it can work.
4. Being unfriendly.
The next time you see a very pretty, feminine-looking woman at your bar, party or lesbian gathering, start by being nice and assume she plays on our team. That’s what she wants.
Unfortunately, she also assumes that pretty women who dress feminine are also straight, so she creates some of her own problems with that.
5. Question your lifestyle.
She’s tired of both sides of the gender gap questioning her sexuality. She’s tired of men bashing her and lesbians ignoring her. She’s tired of having to explain herself all the time.
As Jincey Lumpkin said in her blog on Huffington Post, she’s tired of men bashing her and dealing with the conundrum of female invisibility here in lesbian land or the idea that pretty lesbians only exist on TV.
Like any lesbian of any kind, the lipstick lesbian isn’t looking for a man to show her what she’s missing or why she’s really straight and confused. She is no more confused than a lesbian who is butch. She’s queer and she knows it.
Next time, take the opportunity and get to know her beyond her appearance, which while important to her, is not just about who she is.