It seems that gay parenting is on the rise!
Whether you have children from a previous heterosexual relationship, have gone through foster care or private adoption, or fathered a child with a friend or surrogate, a growing segment of the gay dating market is gay dads.
As admirable and inspiring as it is, I was surprised to hear from a client recently that he considers his status as a gay father to be a stumbling block on the gay singles circuit.
Her experience has been that many gay men express interest until they find out she has children. Then they fade out of the woodwork.
I have heard this sentiment repeated by other single parents.
Why is this?
Perhaps some single gay guys don’t want the responsibility of caring for another man’s children or having to deal with mixed family issues.
Perhaps they never wanted or contemplated the idea of having a family, as this is a relatively new concept for gay men.
Unless the kids are a genuine breaker, boys should definitely consider a man’s affection with a clan.
Gay dads often provide stability and security, have experience with relationships and know how to treat someone special in their lives.
There is a maturity involved that can be very sexy and attractive.
Being a single gay dad can make dating a little more challenging because of the additional roles you have to do, but it can be done.
It’s all about time management because the guy you end up dating will want to feel like a priority in your life and that you have time for him.
“It takes a confident man to share
a new boyfriend with children.
If you’ve tried all the other traditional methods of finding dating prospects with little success, here are some more specialized ideas for you:
Search for Meetup.com.
Are there groups in your area for gay parents? If not, create your own group and lead the development of your own community.
You can create the gay version of the heterosexual single parent group, “Parents without a partner”.
2. Be clear in your online personal ad.
Let them know right away that you are a gay father so you can quickly screen qualified prospects. Men who do not want children will not respond to your ad.
3. Join communities for support and friendship.
There are a variety of discussion boards and forums that specialize in gay parenting online.
4. “Rainbow Family Finder”.
The April 2008 issue of “The Library Journal / Gay Parent Magazine” has a wealth of resources, books, DVDs and associations for gay parents that can help you in your love life.
And for you gay dad admirers, the key to winning his heart is to validate your children and understand that they will be your number one priority.
It takes a confident man to share a new boyfriend with children during the honeymoon period of a relationship, but it is absolutely essential that you do not create a power struggle that involves him having to choose between you and your children, because he always will. choose them first.
By accepting this and opening yourself to the possibilities, you could allow yourself a kind of love and sense of family that you have never experienced.
Give those gay dads a chance: they really are diamonds in the rough!
Are you a gay dad? How do you balance dating with kids? If you’re not a gay dad, would you be willing to date a gay man with kids?