Are you addicted to dating? In today’s disposable society, are we leaving a relationship too soon?
I’m not saying you should settle down with the first person you meet, but you should give your dates a chance.
We are all guilty of judging someone based on first impressions, and if they don’t fit our “cookie cutter” fantasy ideal, we put a cross in the box and move on.
I know I have been guilty of this in my past. My “Mr. Darcy” is not going to ride a horse up my tree lined path.
First, I have a townhouse with no car. Second, I don’t live in a Jane Austen novel.
So what are the signs of a dating addiction?
1. First appointments only.
You go on a lot of first dates, but rarely second dates.
2. You have a very strict ideal.
If a guy fails in one element, you ignore all the other positives.
I had a dating client who refused to date a guy who was less than 6 feet tall and turned down a really hot guy because he was 5 feet 11 inches!
3. You are constantly looking for the next date.
You find that if you haven’t logged into your online dating site for a few hours, you start to feel anxious and restless.
This phenomenon is very common: the “last bus” feeling that you will miss something if you are not online.
“Dating and finding a partner can become
a full-time job, but don’t do it that way.”
What is the way forward?
1. Give a new date a chance.
Unless they are rude, obnoxious or really disgust you, if an opportunity for a second date presents itself, agree to meet.
You don’t have to sleep with them. Use it as an opportunity to get to know them better.
First dates can be an anxious time for some guys. Either they’re trying too hard, they’re too nervous, or they don’t go as well as they could.
2. Agree to meet.
If someone doesn’t present themselves as your ideal guy, but the content of their dating profile is good, they agree to meet you.
You may be surprised. The superficiality of your fantasy boyfriend may change completely when you meet someone you really connect with.
3. Don’t make it a full-time job.
Dating and finding a partner can become a full-time job, but don’t do it that way.
Schedule your time on dating sites and don’t let life pass you by as you scroll from profile to profile.
Set a fixed period of time to log on and check messages, profiles, likes, etc. Ten to 20 minutes per night should be sufficient.
It’s okay in the first few weeks to spend a little more time modifying your profile when others inspire you.
4. When you meet someone, suspend their profile.
Using the excuse that your online conversations are with friends is flimsy and creates insecurity in the relationship. Besides, you have plenty of other non-dating social networking sites where you can talk to your friends.
Remember, dating is the process you go through to find a partner. Once you have established a relationship, you continue to date your partner, not other people.
How do you avoid becoming addicted to dating? Your comments are welcome!
