Do you accept crumbs in your relationship?


Being a lesbian doesn’t mean you should accept less than your best in a relationship. That’s not the world we live in anymore.

It used to be that lesbians didn’t live their lives openly, and when a queer woman came into your life, you took it for better or worse.

Well, heterosexual society has given up on that promise and so should you.

Living on the crumbs of love is not only demoralizing and lonely, it means you are living in a way that is far less happy, fulfilling and good.

What do the crumbs look like?

Crumbs is the girlfriend who is always chasing other women, but keeps you on the hook. You wait for her, waiting for the day she changes. That’s barely a crumb, and no one changes for anyone else.

I stood there and waited hoping that my lover would change for me. It didn’t happen.

Promises shouted from the rooftops have nothing to do with a woman acting, showing up and delivering on promises.

Crumbs is the woman who promises to call and make plans with you, but is always canceling. You’re still hanging in there because she at least got in touch to tell you she was canceling on you, over and over and over and over again.

Your weekends become merry-go-rounds of pity parties, stomach aches and grogginess from food, drink, drugs and losing yourself in television.

You are not living. You’re throwing away your magnificent self for someone’s crumbs.

Crumbs is the woman who recovers with you from a breakup and then you find out she’s still talking, texting and seeing her ex.

She then announces that she is still in love with her ex, but she loves you too, but she has to get back together with her ex. MIGA!

That doesn’t even qualify as multiple crumbs.

“It’s time to get the crumbs out

out of your bed and out of your head”.

Your name is Gretel?

Are you dating a butch girl named Hansel? No, I don’t think so.

Living with crumbs of attention and affection keeps you small.

You’re stuck not being able to need anything from this lesbian who falls apart because she’s always focused elsewhere but promising to be with you. That promise is full of crumbs.

Crumbs are not what love looks like.

Love appears. Love has time for you. Love cares about how you feel and what you need. Love focuses on you.

Love does not fall apart or become unavailable. Love is safe and keeps trying and wants the best for you. Love doesn’t tie you down while it sleeps with another woman. Love wants to share life with you.

It’s time to get the crumbs out of your bed and out of your head so you can make room for love, the kind of love that loves you all the time.


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