“Whenever I want a good meal, I start dating again.” ~ Susan Healy: re-entering the dating scene
after a divorce or long-term relationship can be intimidating and overwhelming for any woman.
Even the most accomplished, confident or beautiful woman can regress to the point of feeling like an awkward, pimply-faced teenager at a high school dance.
To say it feels “out of practice” may be a huge understatement. It’s enough to make you curl up on the couch with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s while crying as you listen to reruns of Hugh Grant romance movies.
You may even be convinced that romance is only for the lucky or the young. To make matters worse, you may feel discarded, scorned or rejected by your ex-spouse or lover.
While you may be realizing that you don’t want to spend the rest of your life alone, you may also be wondering if it’s worth the risk to give love another chance, especially if you’ve just been burned and the wounds are still painful. Fresh.
While cautionary tales of “love gone bad” are always plentiful, sometimes hope springs eternal and you may find yourself considering “giving it another chance.”
There are ways to navigate wisely through this “flowery meadow” full of potential landmines.
1. Be very clear about what you want.
Wisdom comes through experience. By now, you know yourself and likely have some clarity about what you want and need in a relationship.
Do you really want another long-term relationship or marriage, or do you just want companionship?
You may find that you need some time and space on your own to recover and avoid the sometimes frightening “rebound relationship”.
“A renewed sense of joy could lead to
with the best love you’ve ever had”.
2. Try not to take the process too seriously.
Easier said than done, as it may seem like your heart is on the line, but remember that love and romance are supposed to be fun.
I think it’s sad when all joy is taken out of the equation and replaced by fear.
If you need to relax slowly, try to participate in social engagements and environments that you find safe and enjoyable.
Choose activities that interest and excite you, as having a life filled with things you love is very appealing and rewarding.
While you’re not likely to meet “The One” in a yoga class during the day, at least he’ll get you out of the house.
Once you become more comfortable in social situations, you can branch out and stretch yourself a bit by expanding your social circles and trying new things.
Then, once you really get your mojo strong, you can go where the men are: car shows, business events, financial seminars and sporting events, just to name a few.
A renewed sense of joy, hope and adventure could lead you to the best love you’ve ever had.
Are you ready?