Ten keys to increasing your “hotness factor” in gay dating (Part 3)


We are now in the home stretch of our countdown of the top characteristics that epitomize a sexy single gay man in the dating market. These are the qualities that can help you maximize your success in the gay dating world. If you missed Part 1 or 2, you can access those articles here.

What are some of your strengths? What are some areas you would like to refine or integrate more into your repertoire?

It’s all about tailoring these suggestions to suit your unique self so that you can present yourself in such a way that you become a dating magnet for those prospects who are most compatible with your lifelong partner and relationship requirements.

Here are the last four!

4. Be physically and emotionally available.

It’s hard to cultivate a satisfying long-term relationship with someone if you’re never around to spend time with them.

Sexy means being attentive to your guy, opening up space in your busy life to make sure he feels like a priority and making sure you build enough shared experiences together as a couple to start laying the foundation of intimacy and trust that will help establish your history and connectivity as partners.

Have you ever been in the situation where you meet this great new guy and he never seems to have time to get together or, at best, only makes the effort to see you intermittently?

Take note of this! It is sending you very important information about where a relationship ranks in your priorities or how organized you are with time management.

This characteristic also means spending time addressing any “unfinished business” you may have from your past or actively dealing with current life stressors or emotional issues that may distract your ability to be present and invested in your budding new romance.

You always want to do your best and show that you have a good head on your shoulders, have your life together and are ready to invite someone special into your heart without competing forces to complicate the process.

3. Be “out and proud!”

While “coming out” is a very personal decision and is a choice that every gay man must make for himself, it has been shown that “coming out” makes it a less complicated and more liberating lifestyle when it comes to relationship functioning and happiness.

This is because he can be more uninhibited, spontaneous and flexible in expressing his true self, and this combats the negative consequences and shame of living in secrecy and hiding a double life (health costs, low self-esteem, hyperactivity). (health costs, low self-esteem, hyperactivity).

Studies have shown that two men with similar degrees of “outwardness” tend to do better together than those at opposite ends of the spectrum.

While this doesn’t mean you have to fly a rainbow flag wherever you go, it does require confidence and advocacy for your right to be gay and proud.

“Your identity is defined by both

more than just the state of their relationship”.

2. If you procrastinate, you lose.

Similar to our discussion of confidence, this characteristic of sensuality involves being a “self-starter” and feeling comfortable taking the initiative.

In a survey I conducted on my website previously, when asked if they tended to approach men they found attractive rather than wait to be the one pursued, the overwhelming majority of single gay men indicated that they were more comfortable taking a passive stance on dates and tended to wait to be approached by other men.

This is a farce! Imagine how many wonderful and fulfilling relationships could be formed if men could feel more secure within themselves and possess the courage to take “the first step”.

Whether it’s shyness, insecurity, fear of rejection or any other reason for this inhibition, make it your priority to work on overcoming these blocks and adopt the mantra “No more missed opportunities.”

You might be very glad to take that risk, especially since you would be in the minority of those brave enough to involve that cute guy who just walked into the room.

Live with passion and meaning.

The final quality that makes gay men melt is someone who lives his life with passion, spirit and purpose.

His life is full, but balanced. He enjoys what he does and always looks for the positive side. He is a problem solver, a lover and wants to contribute in a meaningful way to make his mark.

These types of men light up the room when they walk in. They are in charge, enjoy life and are forces to be reckoned with because they live hard and want to share this spark with everyone they come in contact with.

What are your passions and talents? What is your life purpose? What makes you tick? What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?

By answering these questions with authenticity and living your life wholeheartedly, your magnetism will attract attention and inspiration.

This type of mindset is one of the key ingredients to ending that repellent of men known as “desperation” because your identity is defined by much more than your relationship status. Sexy is invigorating!

So there you have it, 10 qualities to help increase your “hotness factor”! This is just the tip of the iceberg as we explore the realm of gay dating and support each other as you navigate your singleness in a way that brings you satisfaction.

Feel free to leave your own thoughts and opinions on what makes a gay man sexy in the comment box below so we can all learn from one another! Cheers!


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