It’s your first or second date and you’re super digging a guy. You’re feeling those butterflies. Should you take notice of the CHEMISTRY?
If you’re looking for a loving, committed, lifetime partner but keep picking players, narcissists, or non-committals…I’m inclined to say a strong NO!
Chemistry is the enemy! Run! We make such bad decisions according to chemistry.
But on the other hand, just because he’s hot doesn’t suggest he doesn’t have the possibility to be hubby material. If you wish to understand how to tell if you’re heading right into a chemistry trap…get my tips here.
Watch the video or read the article below.
You’re an hour or so right into a date with a brand new man. You want him.
Time to pause and use the “Is He HOT or is He HUBBY?” test.
Before you begin, grab your Grownup Girl. You realize who I’m referring to. She’s your mature dater. She’s the fabulous woman you've gotten to understand in other areas of your life and learned to love, respect and take care of.
If you must, break his spell leave the table for an alone moment, channel her, just do what it takes to obtain her there. Now, ask her these questions:
1. Is he hot?
Of course, he's; you said “yes” towards the date and haven’t yet excused yourself and gone home yet. The answer is “Yes” so visit the next question.
You’re searching for a great mate…not just a great date, right?
2. Exactly what do I love about him other than his hotness?
Granted, you don’t know him very well. But what traits show potential? When the answer is “None” ; or your only other answer is something like “He's charming”-get the hell from there girlfriend.
If whatever you see is Mr. Hot+Charming, pay attention…it’s chemistry! You're in grave danger of likely to that “b'bye grownup girl and heeelllo silly 25 year old” moment. YOu know that you're certain to regret that afterwards, don’t you?
If there are more traits you like-proceed.
3. Does he show other traits I must have inside a long term partner?
You’re looking for a great mate…not only a great date, right?
What you would like from the man in a fling differs from what you would like from a man in a meaningful, committed relationship. Does he show signs of those qualities?
Be certain to ask your Grownup Girl…she knows the difference. If you can see potential , proceed.
4. Will i feel better about myself when I'm with him?
Notice I didn't say “Do Personally i think good when I'm with him.” When a man is Hot+Charming you feel good – particularly when he directs his charm to you. So I’m likely to consider that a given.
What I really want you to inquire about yourself here is:
“Does he appear to enhance the very best within me? “Shall we be held comfortable being myself with him?” “Do I feel special and safe with him?”
If here's your first date and also the answers are yes or strong maybes…proceed with understanding him. Make sure to stay in discovery and paying attention to the chemistry a part of your attraction. He may be a winner!
If this isn't your first date and also the email address details are yes, proceed to the final step.
5. Will i feel good about myself when I am not with him?
Again, Hot+Charming feels yummy…even to probably the most mature of daters.
The real test is when you are feeling about yourself when you’re not with him and feeling the effect of that nasty chemistry. So often that time away is filled with insecurity and uncertainty. That’s not the way you wish to feel for any length of time, could it be?
So…ask yourself again:
“Does he seem to bring out the very best within me? “Am I comfortable being myself with him?” “Do I feel special and safe with him?”
If the answers are yes strong maybes…again…continue understanding him, checking along with that smart Grownup Girl who knows how to take proper care of herself. I really hope he is your winner!
Can you relate? Let me know!