Dating at all ages can be challenging. Here are some ways you can cope with the most typical stuff that can occur in language that could be new to you!
Being dumped can be painful and impact our self-esteem. Sometimes rejection comes out of nowhere, along with other times the writing was on your wall for a long time. Women have a tendency to hang on to the last moment in fear of not finding another, being alone and losing self-respect.
If you have been dumped after any relationship it could be for a number of reasons.
Maybe you've been dumped by Mr. BBD, 'Bigger Better Deal,' the man who wants to proceed to the following. It could be a married man or someone that was already in a relationship on the 'hiatus.' Or it could have been a far more sinister reason.
To make myself feel good, I'd always create potential scenarios as a defense mechanism: he was married, really gay, a criminal, seriously dysfunctional, addict, psychotic, bankrupt or bad in bed.
Even if our keen radar has missed the warning flags, there might be circumstances we all know nothing about. It's hard but don't take it personally.
If you get dumped online by someone you thought was your soul mate, remember you never met this person. Who's to say they really exist and if their story is real?
My friend Brenda corresponded with a guy named Brian, who romanced her for weeks online. He was keen to not only visit her but also relocate to her house! Google is a wonderful invention because it yielded a criminal background for Brian and the brother.
Have You Been Ghosted?
If, after a flurry of dates, texts or telephone calls, you suddenly get no response, you have been ghosted. Ghosting is not to do with Halloween or haunted houses. It is the sudden ceasing of all communication when dating without any no reason.
This may also happen having a platonic relationship. Surely, everyone has were built with a friend that without warning stops contacting you. This may be a consequence of them being too afraid to tell you they don't want to continue.
It might take the type of avoidance because of fear to harm feelings, to have difficult conversations and an uncomfortable confrontation.
Remember that before ghosting there might be the 'Fade Away' stage. The fade is really a slow road to the 'dump.' The individual doesn't completely disappear but doesn't make himself or herself available. You will find longer gaps in communication until complete silence settles.
What's Love Bombing?
If you've been showered with affection, gifts and promise of a glorious future after a first encounter, you've been love-bombed. It is a whirlwind romance where you received daily 'love bombs.'
They are anxious to advance quickly and show love, care and affection by throwing daily love 'bombs' your way. Their true colors are revealed when they become possessive, manipulative and furious when you show interest in anything apart from them.
Love-bombing is really a form of abuse. It's meant to manipulate and exploit another's weakness or insecurity. Look out for the narcissist, psychopath and controller. They could be entertaining but best to avoid. But do keep those gifts.
Benching and Cushioning
Benching, also known as 'bread-crumbing,' is when someone you have been dating stops receiving meet personally, but is constantly on the contact you over text, email and social networking. These folks, similar to a sports coach – help you stay on the bench while they take part in the field. Mr. BBD?
Cushioning happens when you retain others on the backburner, communicating just enough to keep your attention much more reality, you are looking for the 'BBD.' In the past decades, remember there is a double standard whenever we would call this guy a 'player' and a woman 'loose' or worse names?
Haunting and Cyber Stalking
Remember that person that ghosted you? Haunting is when they choose to create a reappearance. However, instead of having any direct connection with you, they'll follow yourself on social media. This appears to be more a millennial practice, however i wouldn't put it past some tech savvy seniors.
Cyber stalking is similar, however, you might not know about it. We're all guilty of endless Google searches on a person we simply met. There are so many great websites and the ways to look in around the profile of somebody you've just met.
Practically, you can get details about the work they do, past where they live. The truth is that to Google Earth for this purpose, do you?
Tips regarding how to Cope
- Ask yourself what would I do differently next time?
- Was there a recurring theme or attracting same wrong type?
- List qualities you want inside a mate – the dealmakers and the deal-breakers.
- Get physical – walk, run, yoga and a massage.
- Try something new and outrageous.
- Set some new clear goals and get during the dating game.
If you are looking for love in your lifetime, don't quit. The numbers are on your side. The more “no's” you receive, the closer to a “yes” you are. Eventually, you will probably find the right mate.
Stay positive and believe there'll be no rejection, ghosting, love bombing, benching, cushioning or haunting in your future. Always expect the old-fashioned love and romance.
Have you personally gone through any of these dating break-up experiences? Are you still hopeful that you might find true love and romance inside your 60s? Please share your thoughts below!