As a dating coach focused exclusively on women over 50, I have some thoughts to provide regarding how to determine whether you're settling with the wrong man.
Staying having a Man You like Because He’d Do anything whatsoever for You!
Men who practically trip over themselves to make you happy are great catches if you love them. But when you do not, you're marking some time and making it increasingly more difficult to leave a guy and a relationship that's not best for you.
You should feel happily deeply in love with the best man, not the wrong man who would like to make you happy. So, if you’re not feeling it, you may need to return and look at why you were drawn to him to begin with.
Was it his looks, his money, his communication skills or maybe it was just his capability to give you happiness? No matter how much he is doing for you personally and just how good that may feel at this time, in the long run, with no strong heart connection, chances are you'll seem like something is always missing.
Being having a Man Because You Have to Have a Man in Your Life
Sometimes when you're so tired of doing everything by yourself and you are feeling vulnerable and lonely, any man in your life starts feeling better than no man. You simply want companionship for supper, someone to travel with around the world or just a date for a wedding so you do not have to go alone.
You begin feeling desperate to steer clear of the loneliness cycle and wind up attracting a project man who is needy and wants somebody that will handle him. Like a nurturing woman, it's not hard to feel a powerful attraction for this kind of man.
Why? Since there is nothing better than a good project to help keep you busy, particularly when its a guy you are able to mold right into a customized version of what you want.
If you have ever gotten involved with a project man, you realize the actual way it usually ends. At first, he loves the only thing you are doing for him, but over time, he starts to help you as smothering and begins getting away.
When he's back on his feet, he leaves because he wants somebody that – at this point – accepts him for who he's versus someone continually attempting to change him.
You wind up devastated because you've given your all, purchasing him both emotionally and financially. And you resent him for taking a lot while giving so very little back to you and also the relationship.
Most of times, a project man is not worth the financial and emotional expense just to have a man hanging around who's readily available for a Saturday night date.
Instead, own that you are a fabulous single woman with a great life. When you do this, you will be setting standards on your own that remind you to keep playing the dating game before the right man makes your lifetime for the best reasons.
Dating the incorrect Man Until Someone Better Shows Up
When you're dating a man you’re not absolutely in love with, what you are doing is making it hard for the right man to come into your life. All of your time and effort is going into the wrong man and a relationship you do not love.
If he isn't the right man, be truthful with yourself, with him, and end this fake love relationship. Or even better, inquire if he'd become your friend instead.
It may be fun for the both of you to hang when neither individuals is dating anyone special. Then grab yourself into the dating pool. You both should be loved, cherished and adored by your forever person.