As always, I am posting the tribute I wrote to my Dad this year. He educated me in such meaningful lessons about life and love. He would be a smart man, though I didn’t know it for some time, long time.
I’m sending love to you. I hope you were fortunate enough to have a Father you were in a position to respect and who had been able to love you. If you weren’t so blessed, I hope you can feel my arms around you. Bp
Another Father’s Day without my father, who left us in 2012.
He was a good man, my Pop. His last many years were difficult, full of numerous medical issues and a wife who had been unable to deal kindly with his physical and emotional challenges.
So when Dad left, I was happy for him.
I imagine he's now responsibility and nagging free, enjoying himself having a Stoli over ice in a single hand along with a handheld remote control in the other, watching me live my life filled with love and meaning…and being over-the-moon happy for me personally. I know he’s proud of me and that means everything.
While some judged how my father lived his life after retirement – he didn’t play golf, take classes or volunteer – I understood. My Dad did his job in this life, and he made it happen well. He was a typical man of the 50s who focused nearly all his life on his responsibilities.
During the very first half of his grownup life, Dad handled my shopaholic, narcissistic Mother, my buddy and myself. And also the other half of his life he took care of his new wife, with whom he spent 20+ happy years. In his late 7os Dad got very sick, and started a downhill spiral. Sadly, his life was pretty crappy next.
Below is an article I wrote right after Dad’s passing. I wanted to convey who he was and how much I appreciated this smart, fair, caring man with the integrity you wish you’d see in everyone you meet. I think you’ll love him around I actually do.
I miss you a lot Dad. Happy Father’s Day.
PS: I’d love to hear about your Dad. And love to whatever you Dads available!
My Dad died. There-I said hello aloud. Despite the fact that I was by his side and saw him take his very last breath, it has been hard to believe he's gone forever. F-o-r-e-v-e-r.
I very much want to honor this honorable man. I also wish to spread his life tips. I understand he'd obtain a remove of me carrying this out. Not just because receiving public gratitude is fairly nice, but because it validates that he did a good job teaching me.
I now observe that Melvin took his job as Father seriously. He made a great living. He set a powerful and positive example. He taught us something every single day. He raised two hard-working, nice people.
I also observe that he loved me deeply. Irrrve never fully realized that until the last several years of his life.
My Dad would be a typical man from the 50s and showing emotion was like speaking a language he never learned. As a side-effect of his strokes, though, Dad became less able to control his emotions. He started saying he was happy with me. He explained he loved me. So that as he did, he would choke up as well as cry.
Dad also showed a huge amount of love and appreciation for that man I picked to marry.
By time I acquired married at 47, Dad had given up on the thought of me ever snagging a guy.
He stopped asking that which was “going on.” My wedding fund had been dissolved into another account. He worried that I'd not have anyone to take care of me.
That always really pissed me off. I knew my father thought I wasn’t whole with no husband. Also, he believed that I couldn’t attract one because I was doing something very wrong.
After he received the news of my upcoming nuptials, dear Dad told my buddy “I hope she doesn’t screw this one up!” After my buddy told me that I was mad inside my Dad not less than a year.
Just about the time Melvin was due to walk me down the aisle, since I was sharing my life by having an amazing man, I began to get it. My Pops was scared for me personally. He knew life was hard. He wanted me to become happy, and knew just how much using a good partner would enrich my life. He didn’t want me to need to face every event, every decision and each success in my life with no #1 fan.
At 47 I learned that my Dad was still smarter than me. Even though he was living circa Father Knows Best times, he knew something I didn’t know. Every day life is better having a partner who makes you feel safe and special and, yes, taken care of.
Unfortunately, it took his death that helped me to realize something super significant about my father: he was the person he thought about being. Though there were many ways he ticked me off and disappointed me, Dad achieved precisely what he set out to do in life: be considered a good Father.
Just like in the films, when Dad knew his time with us was nearing an end, he called Larry over and whispered in the ear. He asked him to vow to take care of me. I didn’t feel one twinge of anger; only gratitude and love.
My Dad was simply doing his job.
So-here are only a some of the things I learned from my father. You most likely know many, but perhaps a couple of can help calibrate your lifetime compass as they do for me personally every day.
- Use soap.
- Turn off the lights.
- Don't pet stray dogs.
- Don't change lanes within an intersection.
- There isn't any free lunch.
- Good neighbors are available in every color.
- Don't work on Yom Kippur.
- Life is difficult.
- Keep your word.
- Matzo Brei is best with sugar.
- Close the cabinet doors.
- Don't sweat the small stuff.
- Sarcasm is definitely an undervalued type of communication.
- Always refill the tray for the last ice cube.
- Your integrity is everything.
- Regardless of what someone does for a living, if they work hard they deserve respect.
- Work for justice.
- You get that which you pay for.
- There are lots of people suffering and also you can’t ignore them.
- Respect is earned.
- Work hard and you'll be rewarded.
- Be fair.
- Be kind.
- Be grateful.
- Take proper care of people you like.
- Do your very best.
And most likely the best lesson he educated me in, that we almost learned too late: I am loved.
Rest in peace, Pops. I love you also.