It feels bad whenever you meet up with a captivating guy and obtain good chemistry going, only for it not to go anywhere.
And it's not only once. It will happen you over and over again and you will not help but wonder if there's something wrong along with you.
In this short article, I will tackle 10 explanations why guys want to hook up with you, but not date you.
Take heart-it's most likely not badly as you thought.
1) They're not ready.
The simplest answer is that you are simply hanging out men who aren't ready.
Sure, they may love fooling around, but simply because they know (or believe, at any rate) that they aren't ready for any serious relationship, they back away.
Young men within their early 20s and those who had just felt the sting of the break-up are most likely like this. They might seem like they should be successful first before dating someone in earnest, or maybe they still need heal using their break-up.
But sometimes, men can reach mid-life without ever feeling like they're “ready”, so don't count out this reason simply because he's a little older!
Pay attention to the things they have said.
Did they by any means express some type of insecurity or uncertainty they're struggling with?
If a man worries a great deal about his career, for instance, it could be that he really wants to concentrate on might does not want to obtain tied down to something that may hold him back.
2) You seem like you're not ready.
On another hand, it is also possible that you've been giving him the impression that you're not yet ready.
Perhaps you might have vented a little too much about your exes or perhaps your failed attempts at love, or had ranted too much about how exactly “all males are bad” or “I have no need for no guy” or something similar.
It may not cross your mind right now, but saying things like “all men are cheaters!” or ranting about how bad your boyfriend or girlfriend was will push away any guy that has an ounce of self-respect in his body.
He will think “if this is how she's, what's going to she say about me basically date her and our relationship goes bad?”
Or maybe you've simply just talked so much about your obligations that you have painted the image of someone who barely has time for you to spare, and determined that dating you'll be a very lonely affair.
It won't be too surprising to determine men decide they'd prefer to be single than be in rapport where their partner isn't committed to the connection.
3) You began casually.
If you get into relationships with those men as “friends with benefits”, then the last thing you are very likely is that they'll fall in love with you.
Sure, it could sound “natural” that you should fall madly in love. After all, you're already explored each other's bodies-maybe you will find the other irresistible and fall madly in love.
But the thing is by establishing a “friends with benefits” relationship, you're setting the expectation that you aren't expecting anything serious to leave it.
Maybe it's because you were sexually drawn to each other, try not to have mutual romantic feelings whatsoever.
If both of you wanted a significant romantic relationship, you would have done it from the very start.
And even though you may manage to realize later on that you simply do love each other, there can be other reasons why he can't commit, and why he'd rather stay as friends with benefits.
4) You haven't built them into infatuated with you.
Something to consider is the fact that maybe-just maybe-you haven't got them infatuated with you yet. Sure, they might be somewhat interested in you, but they're just not that invested in you.
Thankfully, it isn't very difficult to obtain men to fall head over heels in love with you. And sometimes, the easiest method to learn to wrap men around your finger is to listen to what guys have to state around the matter.
And to that end, Dating and Relationship coach Clayton Max had developed teams of phrases which are certain to get men totally hooked on you.
These phrases reach men on a deep primal level – most women havenrrrt heard of this, which is why they struggle to help keep a man's infatuation.
To find out what they are, watch his video here where he explains everything.
You wouldn't believe how easy it may be and wished you knew these tricks sooner.
5) Blame it around the dating culture.
You may also blame Dating Culture as a whole.
For better or for worse, the web had shrunk the world right down to how big your palm. No longer are we restricted to only the people we have seen within our suburb or state.
In this contemporary world of ours, we are able to now select from just about anyone from all corners of the globe.
That feeling of choice, along with our natural need to seek perfection, means that people just aren't motivated to stay too long with any one person.
Looking for a partner is becoming just like searching for a shirt in the local mall. It's possible to just scroll via a list of dates and swipe left or right once they feel like it.
And maybe, just maybe, those men “swiped left” on you before they really got to know you, simply because they feel there's something more out there.
6) You're attracting the wrong kind of men.
This is probably the most likely reason men aren't pursuing to possess a relationship along with you.
There's no problem with you, you're just attracting the incorrect men!
Maybe it's the places you hold off in, or possibly it's the way you present yourself.
And sometimes, the things you look for in men just come with some unfortunate baggage, and sometimes that may lead to conflicts involving the interests and theirs that cause your relationships just straight out failing on the first day.
For example, if you like men who live as free spirits, love independence, and prefer to roam, then you can expect these to be hesitant to be tied down. Some might even not have confidence in dating or marriage as you know it.
So whenever you attempt to start a relationship with them -especially from a classical angle- they could be hesitant for more reasons than a single.
Likewise, if your type is someone who's bold, well-liked by girls, and likes to party, you very well may end up attracting men that are simply that. And men like that, unfortunately enough, aren't necessarily eager to stay faithful to any one woman.
They'll see you as a conquest and, once they're completed with you, will proceed to the next girl within the line.
7) You have not shown them how much you value yourself.
Tugging at men's heartstrings by looking into making them want to comfort you might seem like a good idea, but here's the thing. It's not.
You're not going to get love saying things like “I'm the worst,” or “I'm not good.”
Men who're searching for a serious date will listen to your cries of pity and think “oh, she's going to be a bother to date” or “she's just likely to toy with my emotions, isn't she?”
The men that will be seduced by this tactic are, ironically enough, often the very same men who won't make good partners. Men who are themselves insecure or desperate might find you putting yourself down like a moment of weakness that they can exploit to get into your “good side.”
So instead of putting yourself down or attempting to draw their pity, try to draw their respect instead. Present yourself as someone who values yourself and holds fast towards the values you believe in. Set boundaries, say “no” sometimes.
While this will scare off some men, you'll generate the respect of those that are in fact opting for something serious carrying this out.
8) You appear too good to be true.
It could be that, for whatever reason, you simply come off as someone who's too good to be true. They might possess the concept of an ideal girl and, by coincidence, you fill that concept exactly.
You might think this might make them would like you more, but the thing is the fact that as being a bit too perfect will instead get people to suspicious. And never that, being too best to be true also makes you incredibly intimidating.
So some will help you like a catch, a conquest to become taken. Others will believe that you're simply out of their league. Yet others would be worried about why you're 'too perfect', and wonder if you're faking it or if you're somehow hiding something.
If you're giving out these vibes, most likely you might be trying a bit too hard to uphold a certain picture of reputation (whether long or otherwise) and seeking to become more in keeping with yourself will help get rid of this problem.
But if you're not doing almost anything to project this image, then it is totally their loss. But for your own good, you have to spot these men and remain away from them.
9) You still don't know what you want.
Maybe the reason why men aren't dating you seriously happens because you're just not sure what you're looking for.
Do you want a free spirit, or someone who's bound to their duties? Would you like someone who's more progressively minded, or one who prefers to stay with tradition?
Until you're certain what you want, there's always likely to be a slight touch of uncertainty in the way you act which will tip men off and discourage them.
After all, why would they waste their time dating someone who isn't even sure if she's serious or sure about the subject or otherwise? Being single is often much better than dating an uncertain person.
10) You're truly an awesome person.
And of course, it could also be that you are too good.
You're a really awesome person and due to that you simply attract all kinds of people. Unfortunately, that also includes individuals who aren't the right fit for you personally.
Some people just have something about the subject that pulls people towards them just like a magnet, and oftentimes they have this “magnetic quality” without knowing it.
The positive thing here is that if you've this magnetic quality, all you need to do is to figure out which from the men in your life are in fact seriously interested in you, and which of them are merely following a friend with benefits arrangements, nsa.
You have to learn to separate the chaff from the wheat.
What to do
Know what you would like.
Ask yourself what kind of guy you want to settle down with. Attempt to describe him in as much detail as you can, and write it down on paper.
If you've something like “tall, dark, and handsome” or “likes me” then you're most definitely not sure what you would like. Think about what sort of beliefs you would like your partner to have. Exactly what do they would like to achieve in life?
Knowing not only what sort of guy you need to day, but additionally what kind of life you will build together is essential, because when you know what you would like, you can begin searching for love within the right places.
Stick to finding the type of men that you'd want to be in rapport with.
When you've determined what your type is, then you can (and really should) start looking for them out of all right places. You're probably not likely to look for a quiet nerd in the center of a loud bar, or perhaps a party man in the local library.
Sure, you might catch a nerd sitting behind a bar every so often, and a party man can certainly read a couple of books in the library, however these just aren't the type of places they hang around constantly.
Make them infatuated with you.
When you've found the proper of men you would like in your life, then something you should do is to make sure they are care for you. Have them fall head-over-heels, even!
And that's something you can perform by being aware of what makes them tick after which saying the best words in the right times.
I raised the Dating and Relationship Coach Clayton Max earlier, and the videos are invaluable to assisting you learn how to understand men. Here's the link to his video again.
Make them invested in you emotionally before you decide to have sex.
You don't put the cart before the donkey, or count your eggs before they hatch.
For the same reason, you should avoid having sex having a man before getting him infatuated with you.
Build that emotional bond first before you take him to sleep. Should you bring him to bed too soon, he'll help you like a cheap lay or perhaps an “easy conquest” and you do not want that.
By making him emotionally invested in you, you stop being something to overcome or “earn”, but a human person he has an in-depth emotional bond with. And when that happens, sex will end up a bonding act forwards and backwards of you, and simply both of you satisfying your lust with every other's bodies.
Be proud of who you are-but much less proud.
Avoid self-deprecation. Way too much things only to elicit pity or sympathy from him because that will color your relationship with him negatively.
He might find you as someone below him, someone to always comfort or pity instead of someone who can stand by his side as an equal.
But simultaneously, don't try to make yourself too perfect. It might be intimidating to approach you-much less talk or relate with you-if you try to present yourself like a little miss perfect.
Instead, you should shoot for an account balance. You're who you are, flaws and all sorts of. You're not flawless, but you're not defined by your flaws either.
What you should know is that it's not your fault. It's not because you're a girl that doesn't deserve love and respect. Not at all!
There are many explanations why men might like linking with you, but not take the next step and date you seriously. And all of them, thankfully, possess a solution somewhere.
Sometimes the solution is as simple as changing the place you spend time in, and sometimes the answer needs a little bit of introspection.
What's important is that you actually feel the effort of trying to know why your situation is the actual way it is, and having the resolve to deal with the issue after you have identified it.
Dating is difficult. Don't allow it get to you.
Can a relationship coach assist you to too?
If you would like specific suggestions about your situation, it can be very helpful to speak with a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience-
A few months ago, I reached to Relationship Hero when I was going through a difficult patch within my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for thus long, they gave me a unique understanding of the dynamics of my relationship and the way to get it back on the right track.
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