Do you believe you’re a needy person and would like to change this?
Perhaps someone claims that you simply appear needy, or you are merely reflecting in your life.
However, there are a variety of ways to appear less determined by others.
You may become considerably more self-sufficient should you make the work.
I’ve identified 10 key ways to not seem needy.
These are all things that you can do right now, so listen to me and stop appearing needy!
1) Don’t produce other people “rescuing” you.
The easiest way to appear needy would be to lean on another person for help.
You could find that you are constantly having others assist you with something.
Although this can be a nice gesture, it makes you gaze needy since you are essentially having them fix all of your problems.
Do you frequently have your friends do things for you?
Are there tasks they dominate, even if they aren’t really helping?
If so, then stop carrying this out! It’s ultimately making people think you’re determined by them.
Don’t be considered a sucker! The more you let someone rescue you, the more it will appear as though you'll need them.
Do you need to change this? If that's the case, then start taking responsibility for your own personel problems.
It’s great to become saved once in a while, but don’t let it happen Constantly!
2) Don’t remind people who you'll need something.
You should not have to remind people about your needs.
Sure, it’s fair to inquire about what you want, even if it’s just a little thing. However, don’t continue with small talk about how you’re in need of something.
Let’s imagine this:
You may have a friend who constantly asks for money. Although this is fine on occasion, when they do it often enough, it can make you appear needy.
If you need to be self-sufficient, don’t make it obvious that you'll require something.
Otherwise, you will only put people off! They’ll understand that they’re essentially giving something to someone who isn’t contributing.
People will start to feel like they're your personal servant; it’s awkward, so stop it!
You ought to be very honest with people, and let them know what you need.
If you would like something, then tell people. It’s only respectful!
It also produces the situation where they need to give you what you want…unless of course, they don’t want to. In which case, I guess beggars can’t be choosers.
If you would like something, tell the individual the reality and be direct. Let them know that they’ve had a limited chance to give you the thing you need!
It can be challenging to remind people regarding your needs without finding as needy if you’re a more emotional person.
However, remaining in touch with your feelings after which expressing them to others will help you encourage them to do what’s good for you.
Don’t hesitate to let people know that you'll need something, just don’t sound “needy”.
But there is no need to constantly remind everyone who are around you that you're a little bit stressed.
3) Neediness sometimes could be positive.
If you’ve designed a bad decision and you want to stay without falling back to old patterns to be dependent, then it's alright to rely on another person for help.
The point is the fact that you’re conscious of the fact that you need help and your kindness isn’t forced.
This way of coming across as less needy (but nonetheless looking and acting like a grown-up) is called self-awareness.
We've all had the experience. Sometimes, it is reasonable to want someone else!
If you are in a serious partnership, it is natural to need your spouse on some level. This isn’t something which can be simply changed.
But you know what else?
Becoming needy is also a strong sign that you show your love and affection because it implies that explore only worry about the other person but you also want to win their attention.
I learned this from Justin Brown’s video.
In his video, he shared about 7 strengths to be needy.
So make sure you check it out here.
4) Know when you should touch base for help so when it is not necessary.
Recently, I learned that many people only ask others for help when they actually need it.
If you’re looking over this, you probably believe that asking others for assistance is a sign of weakness – something which shouldn’t be achieved.
However, this isn’t true in all situations.
If a friend is feeling down and asks you for advice, don’t feel like you do them a big favor when you are there. Instead, be happy to help them fix their problems.
Let’s say, for instance, that you are speaking with a buddy who needs help with their math homework.
You don’t want to see them enter into a poor mood due to the frustration they're feeling from the inability to finish their homework.
You can help by suggesting they check out this website or this teacher.
Never be afraid to let people down when they charge a fee help.
If they require it, then do it! It is better that they ask you for help than to undergo all of the trouble of asking another person and finally feeling like you’re a terrible person.
Being conscious of when you should ask for help and when to not makes you appear more self-sufficient.
But there are also some situations by which asking for help is completely normal, such as if you’ve made an honest mistake at work or something like that.
Don’t be afraid to allow people determine if you’ve messed something up – you’re human!
Sure, it’s embarrassing, but what’s worse happens when people find out regarding your mistake without you even saying anything.
5) Don’t expect anything free of charge.
There’s something about individuals who request freebies that comes across as needy.
It’s as though they are afraid of saying no for anxiety about damaging their reputation.
The solution?
Be prepared to refuse!
You will not be scared of saying no, not even to individuals who’ve genuinely helped you in the past.
If someone helps you, then you can ask for help even if they aren’t probably the most helpful person imaginable.
You don’t want to ask anyone for something they don’t wish to give.
Ask them if they want to do something with you, or would you like to question them a question?
This way, you're being honest and making it clear that you simply don’t expect something from their store just because they’re prepared to give it to you.
Just make sure to refuse politely, if necessary.
You should always spend time planning your finances before making a request something to become done.
If you come across as needy and greedy for things, individuals will avoid you – so bear in mind!
And if you don’t seem like doing something for free, then make sure that you are very clear in your desire to get something free of charge.
Until then, avoid which makes it seem like you need free things.
This will keep you against looking needy within the eyes of others.
6) Avoiding needy behaviors.
It isn't necessarily easy to remain selfless, which is why it can be tricky to appear less needy.
However, you should know when it’s vital that you help others without expecting anything in exchange.
If you’re looking for a good way to appear less needy, you can do so by avoiding needy behaviors.
Keep in your mind that the average person who is deemed as less needy only will start avoiding people who are perceived as needy.
This includes, but is not restricted to:
Accusing others to be ungrateful after which being angry once they reject you.
Overly-dramatic begging and complaining, especially for your parents or boss.
Constantly apologizing for doing a problem and requesting forgiveness.
Act like a victim by making excuses for the behaviors and actions.
And also when you can reasonably ask for something in return.
For example, if your friend purports to invest in your dinner however, you seem like you’d prefer a a bit more independence, ask if they'd mind splitting the price.
You will also help others without expecting anything in exchange by providing to lend them money.
However, you should ensure that you offer only money if you have enough for your own priorities.
Don’t feel guilty about not helping somebody who has been a poor friend, who doesn’t treat you nicely or who doesn’t assist you to when it's needed.
Just because they ask for help and promise that they’ll do something in return soon doesn’t mean that they won't bail around the deal when things get tough.
This way, you're able to eat for free without sounding needy.
7) Don’t complain about what you don’t have.
Saying “I wish I had ____” may come across as needy since it presents an adverse outlook in your life.
It is not required to constantly mention your flaws enough where you appear depressed.
If someone asks you about your life, don't just say what you don’t have.
Instead, attempt to focus on the strengths of your life.
You can also mention what you have and discuss how much value it provides to you.
For instance:
If you are living with roommates, you are able to say “being here with my roommates means the world to me.”
Instead of saying “I wish I'd a better job.” Try “I am pleased with my job.”
The reason for this isn't to pretend that you have everything and you have no flaws.
What it’s really to do is prepare people for which they don't know, in case they ask you about anything personal.
You ought to be careful not to overload because utilizing a lot of adjectives can also come across as needy.
We all have our struggles, but that doesn’t mean we ought to express them in each and every moment of conversation, after which possess a pity party within the privacy of our own house!
When you’re dealing with a individual who complains about their own shortcomings, that by no means means you are complaining regarding your own.
You are expressing your unhappiness inside a healthy way.
8) Practicing self-confidence and overcoming your neediness.
When you’re can not overcome your neediness, look outside of yourself first.
So what can you practice?
Look for possibilities to help others and step in when you’re needed.
This is the best method to overcome your neediness.
If you are not sure about anything, ask someone else for help or advice.
Don’t just sit around and feel like your issues are extremely big for you to handle.
If another person has got the same issue, you'll be able to compare notes and then try to evaluate which is going on for you.
If someone is gossiping about their life, keep these things stop and express how they feel.
If you feel like you’re a bad friend, make a move to help someone else and then reflect on the way your life has changed.
If you don’t feel good about your life, take a look at the way the lives of others are going and then try to understand why you were feeling unhappy in the first place.
Fill yourself track of positive self-confidence which means that your neediness will be reduced.
Who wouldn't wish to improve themselves?
I know I actually do.
The issue is there are too many fake gurus out there ready to sell yourself on unrealistic and ineffective solutions for improving your life by being a “better version” of yourself. They want you to meditate, radiate “positive vibrations” and visualize the life span of your dreams. They are saying this will make it come true.
Here's the crazy thing:
Visualization and positive vibes won't bring you nearer to your dreams, plus they can actually drag you backwards into time-wasting, idle fantasy and frustration.
But it's difficult to overcome neediness when you're being hit because of so many Instagram influencers telling you the way a special type of yoga, diet or incense will improve your current circumstances.
You can wind up trying so difficult and not finding the answers you need that your life and dreams begin to feel hopeless.
You want solutions, but all you're being told would be to produce a perfect utopia within your own mind. It doesn't work.
I would like you to turn off all of the noise for a second and obtain back to absolute basics.
What are you for?
Before you can experience a genuine change, you need to really know your purpose.
I discovered the strength of purpose from watching Ideapod co-founder Justin Brown's video on the hidden trap of improving yourself.
Justin was once hooked on the self-help industry and Modern gurus, who sold him on visualization and positive thinking. It left him lost and confused.
That's why he traveled to Brazil to satisfy the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, who taught him a life-changing new strategy for finding your own personal purpose and employ it to transform your life and everything who are around you.
After watching the video, I discovered my purpose in life and it completely busted through the issues I was having with loneliness and feeling useless. This new method of finding success by finding your own personal purpose actually helped me to trust myself more, become independent, and prevent being clingy.
9) Work on yourself.
If you want to stop being clingy, it is crucial that you're employed on yourself. This way, become familiar with how to love yourself and how to lead a completely independent life.
But how do you do that?
Simple – by always challenging your fears!
Fear of change keeps people stuck within their old patterns for as long as possible.
If you want to stop being clingy, then you’ll need to move away from your comfort zone.
Don’t believe that change is scary, actually, it is often necessary in order to achieve the type of life that you would like.
You don’t need to actively look for something to challenge you in your lifetime.
Your life will challenge you and put you into uncomfortable situations.
So instead of letting your fears keep you from growing, be willing to confront your fears, grow from them and give them an opportunity to improve yourself.
But if you wish to stop being needy and be the very best version of yourself, then it's essential that you keep yourself straying beyond your safe place.
Practice being self-confident by following the lifestyle tips we have mentioned previously.
10) Don’t be afraid of saying “no”.
The easiest way for you to appear less needy is to avoid things that are outside of your comfort zone.
Saying no with a things will help you build the confidence and self-worth needed to stand on your own two feet.
Avoiding social situations that will make you are feeling uncomfortable can also help keep you from feeling needy.
So the rule of thumb is “don’t always say yes” for your friends.
You can also take small steps each day that help you to definitely overcome your neediness.
Just don’t try to change things out of the blue, as this may strain you psychologically.
Instead, attempt to build self-confidence by doing one small thing every day.
Let's check out a few examples:
Influence is an important quality with regards to being less needy in everyday life.
If it feels uncomfortable to reject your pals, then maybe you should reconsider being friends with them.
You don’t wish to lose out on that opportunity because you are too afraid of hurting your friends’ feelings.
Don't enable your needs control the way you relate to others.
In the finish, what we are trying to have to say is that being clingy is not a positive thing in life.
We have explained some suggestions regarding how to stop being needy to be able to embrace independence and begin living for yourself.
And in addition, you'll show you've got a clear sense of identity and a set of core principles.
As long as you do things for the right reasons and don’t let fear hold you back, then there is anything rewarding than saying no thanks to people who don’t deserve your help.
To overcome your neediness, begin by changing what you believe.
Then, spend some time working on yourself to be able to grow into the person that you want to be.
If you practice self-confidence, then you will be in a position to stop being clingy today.
Remember that life is short, so stop giving your power away!
Final thoughts:
The old saying holds true: “it’s easier to be hated for who you are rather than be loved for who you pretend to be.”
When it comes to it, many of us are needy in a single way or any other.
But if we can understand the underlying reasons behind our neediness, only then do we can work on changing our behavior and growing into the best versions of ourselves.
We must also be prepared to confront our fears and actively push the boundaries of what we believe can be done.
If you're responsible for being needier than you ought to be, then it is time and energy to change this pattern.
Stop using your fear of being left alone being an excuse to be the needy person and please yourself first.
As you see a transfer of what you think with regards to you, do something to savor life by yourself terms.
Don’t give the power away to the people who are draining the life from you.
And if you follow these tips, you can also overcome your neediness!
Good luck!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your circumstances, it can be very useful to speak to rapport coach.
I know this from personal experience-
A few months ago, I reached to Relationship Hero after i was going through a difficult patch in my relationship. After being lost within my thoughts for so long, they offered me a unique understanding of the dynamics of my relationship and how to have it fixed on track.
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