Wisdom: The quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment.
Fortitude: Strength of mind that enables someone to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage.
Do you sometimes feel frightened of dating on and on after meeting your mate boldly and like the strong grownup woman you're?
Contrast the crooks to other challenges and disappointments in your life. Are you really so afraid that it’s worth staying single?
You’ve slain greater dragons in your life than this, my friend.
I have it.
The emotional intensity we feel around dating and mating can create such vulnerability and discomfort it seems ominous .
But really? Being rejected by a man can be the least of the challenges in your lifetime.
The advantage of being in our 40s, 50s, and 60s is our clarity by what we would like and our capability to overcome obstacles to have it .
Here’s my advice that will help you stop being scared of dating so can find your love.
I refer to this as my Four Commandments of Fortitude with Men.
1. Don’t talk yourself too much from it.
Not only would you like this and deserve it, but you have the lack of ability to get it.
We all experience moments of rejection, confusion, self-doubt, and fears of all types when we actively pursue love. Okay, fine. However, you can use self-talk to cope with that which means you don’t let it prevent you.
Nix the “this really is useless, I'll never find anyone, I’m best alone” talk. Change it with the “It's my job to get what I want, I deserve an excellent man, I understand how to do this, I will figure this out” talk.
2. If nothing else, it’s about learning and growing.
There are extremely few experiences that warrant a choice to stop looking for love. Save those, every conversation, email, or date you've will be able to teach you new things about yourself or men.
Like other things you need to do, the more you learn, the better you receive. Within the worst of all, you might not find your daily life partner, but you’ll have a lovely and fun time looking!
You have to actively look for these moments. If he responded positively to you, why do you believe he did that?
If you would expect him to call but he didn’t, exactly what does that teach you about him or with regards to you?
Are you making good decisions? Are you currently being authentic whenever you meet men? Do you practice kindness to them and to yourself? Wondering these questions — even attempting to look at things from his perspective — will keep you learning and focusing on positive forward movement.
3. Perspective, perspective, perspective.
Being rejected with a man or feeling like you’ve somehow ruined an opportunity for reference to a great guy is really a minor obstacle when compared with what you’ve risen above in your life.
You have faced and overcome many challenges. You possess an otherwise full and satisfying life that you’ve worked hard to attain, right? Joyful dating and finding love is the icing around the cake.
If you have trouble remembering this, at least remember Commandment #2. There are no bad dates or wasted chances. All you do during your search for love brings you nearer to finding it. So long as you keep searching.
4. Keep the eyes around the prize.
Whether your goal is to locate everlasting love in order to simply enjoy dating and discover a companion, keep focused, and then try to shut out the rest of the noise.
Like anything that is really precious and meaningful in your lifetime, you can reach your ultimate goal with a little work plus some courage .
Part of fortitude is not quitting before you decide to figure out how to get what you need. A part of wisdom is determining the thing you need before you quit.
If you’ve been dating for a while and haven’t been having a good time or found your personal man, my want you is you allow yourself to find the strength of mind and gather your courage. Absolutely do not give up before you decipher it and discover your loving lifetime mate.