When I'm single, I reflexively subscribe to a dating app, or three. Why would I ever want my flirting skills to get rusty? I'm not sure about everyone, however for me it's soothing and fun to peruse profiles, a lot like going to a cocktail party in which you know no one, but everyone is friendly and receptive. And, Personally i think less alone, due to there being something to do on a Saturday night besides the laundry!
Of course, when I'm in a partnership, I fantasize about the fun to be single. The house can maintain disaster zone status, cereal is eaten for dinner- This woman goes where she wants, with whomever she would like, spending cash like it is going from style (more or less…).
When I'm single, it's hard fighting the sensation that my entire life is lacking in some important way. However, eureka! Recent studies suggest that partnered or couples aren't necessarily that much happier.
On a 5-point scale, married people more regularly rated their happiness a “4”, while long time men and women averaged scores between 3.7 and 3.82. So, there!
But for those of us who prefer being part of a few, we know that finding a partner suitable is one thing that we have little control. So, learning to be single and truly happy is downright mandatory if your are to reside a full life.
Being Single May Not Be badly when i Thought
Luckily, there's a plethora of articles and books regarding how to be happy and fulfilled as a single person. Many of them are list oriented, as in “Nine Ways Being Single Can Improve Your Life.” In sifting through multiple articles, the advice appears to boil down to a handful of absolutes.
Make and keep friends, take part in group activities, be grateful for and conscious of the good matters in life. I had no clue that angst about being single is so prevalent that the condition has spawned articles and studies galore.
Something else that appears during these lists is the fact that being single appears to provide more opportunities for personal growth and self-awareness. Writers and researchers discuss the psychological and emotional energy dedicated to your partner and “the relationship” when you're with someone.
And let's not underestimate the energy drain of thinking, talking, and emotional processing. When you are single, this energy can be directed to personal fulfillment.
Truth be told, I usually skip over advice like this. After all, I've been in therapy for what seems half a lifetime and skimmed far too many self-help books. So based on me, I have known myself for many years now, what more can there possibly be?
The Legacy of accelerating Up in the 1950s
More recently, I've realized that my self-esteem automatically defaults towards the stance which i should look just like a 50s’ pin up star. My mother was movie star gorgeous; my father looked like Frank Sinatra, so somehow I think I have come across this honestly.
I was good looking enough in my youth, but now my reptilian brain freaks out if this sees the wrinkles, sages, bags, and cellulite. This wasn't supposed to happen, ha ha.
So apparently, I'm lucky enough to get have more internal battles to battle. This tenacious and deeply buried core belief must be vanquished! Nice to know this poodle dog is about to learn newer and more effective tricks.
Now I am very busy (possibly even on the Saturday night?) metamorphosing right into a woman who “looks good for her age,” who is the matriarch of the pretty cool tribe (made up of ex-wives, ex-husbands, new boyfriends and girlfriends, children, grandchildren, etc.). Wish me luck, please!
How do you experience feeling when you're in “single” status? Are you finding that you need to start dating again? And have you began focusing on yourself instead? What interesting things have you found with regards to you while single? Let's have a conversation!