The end of the relationship is definitely difficult and painful, but nobody expects their ex to depart behind a lot of stuff.
From doing it intentionally so they’d have an excuse to return, to really disregarding the stuff, listed here are 15 surprising explanations why your ex leaves their stuff behind following a breakup.
Let’s jump right in:
1) They need a reason to get in touch
They left it on purpose so they’d come with an excuse to go into touch with you.
Think about this. It’s an ideal plan!
Breakups can be messy and frequently, either parties don't have any need to see their ex after a breakup. What exactly will they do?
They leave their stuff behind at your place. This way, when they miss you and also would like to get in touch, they've a reason to text and even see you. Unless you’re done with them forever and have thrown out their stuff, you’ll probably agree to ask them to stop by and pick it up.
2) They actually forgot their stuff
Sometimes, people actually forget some stuff in their ex’s place.
Maybe the breakup was unexpected, rushed, and full of shouting and emotions.
In that position, you can’t blame them for leaving a bag of garments or a bunch of old books behind.
Once they get back on their feet, they’ll notice their stuff is missing and will try to find the courage to go into touch and obtain it back.
3) Get advice from the relationship coach
While this information will reveal the main reasons your boyfriend or girlfriend would leave their stuff behind following a breakup, it may be helpful to speak to a relationship coach regarding your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you will get advice tailored to your unique situation-
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people sort out complex relationship issues, like coping with your boyfriend or girlfriend after splitting up. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so certain that they are able to help you?
Well, I recently experienced a tough patch in my own relationship, and that i reached to them for help. As soon as I acquired in contact, I was given genuine, advice, and was finally able to see my relationship difficulties with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing suggestions about why your ex left their stuff at the place and how to speak with them once they contact you.
4) They don’t need the stuff
Maybe the stuff they left behind has no importance for them – maybe they seldom used it and we’re planning on eliminating it anyway.
Check out the stuff they left behind.
If it’s a bunch of old clothes, magazines, or some old CDs, there’s a high probability they don’t require it and don’t even worry about it – in other words, it’s junk.
If you don’t such as the stuff being around, you are able to probably trash it. But if you want to make sure your ex won’t call asking to get back, do them the thanks to sending a text to check on.
I know you probably don’t want to speak with them but you can send an image of the stuff and write something similar to, “You left this junk behind, I’m going to throw it away if you don't need it.”
5) They don’t worry about the stuff
They thought about being along with you as well as their world has shattered after the breakup. The fact that they left some stuff behind isn’t whatsoever important.
Who likes you stuff?
Their heart is broken. They don’t care about a lot of clothes, books, or appliances.
6) They want you to definitely get their things
If you lived together with your ex and they bought a bunch of furniture or household appliances they then left behind, it’s probably simply because they would like you to have it.
They know how much you love using the blender or drinking tea for the reason that old rocking chair.
They left their stuff behind with the reason for you having it.
If you consider it, it’s a really sweet gesture, isn’t it?
They obviously still care about you which is why they need you the stuff they bought.
And that’s not every.
If they are accountable for the breakup, the fact that they’re leaving everything stuff behind could be a way of saying sorry and seeking to create amends.
7) Have you been to some psychic?
Now, until 8 weeks ago, my answer could have been no.
But when I came face-to-face with painful issues related to my breakup, I decided to think as they are.
Even though I was skeptical about psychics as well as their knowledge of love, I gave individuals at Psychic Source a go.
It's among the best decisions I made.
The advisor I spoke to was kind, understanding, and genuinely helpful.
My passion for reading helped me understand an immense amount about where I was failing within my sex life and how to repair it.
They are really experienced in why exes do things – like leave their stuff behind – and can tell you most of the methods to improve your sex life and get consistent with your romantic destiny immediately.
8) They want to leave a reminder
This one is common for people who have been together for a long time, especially people going through the divorce.
The thing is that they'll leave something throughout the house so that you’ll remember them every time you see or use that particular item.
A mug they used often. A pair of shoes they left out.
It’s difficult for many people to accept that a relationship that they were in for such a long time can cease to exist. It’s like one moment they’re a part of your lifetime, and subsequently they’re not there anymore.
That’s why they leave some stuff behind so you don’t forget them. Even though you keep your lifetime, you’ll possess a reminder that they were once a big a part of your lifetime.
9) They want you to suffer
Believe it or not, exes sometimes leave their stuff behind simply because they want to make a person suffers.
Maybe they’re angry at you for ending their relationship. Maybe they’re angry along with you for breaking their heart. Or possibly they can’t forgive you for cheating in it.
So they leave behind their stuff, hoping that you’ll feel guilty and miserable whenever you view it lying around.
The the easy way avoid feeling guilty or miserable is to just get rid of the stuff. Send them a text message asking if they want their stuff back. If they don't, create it for Goodwill.
10) They’re having problems accepting the breakup
When a relationship ends as well as an ex doesn’t want to face the truth that it’s over, they might leave lots of their stuff behind.
In their minds, the breakup is just temporary and after a cooling-off period, you’ll be back together and things is going to be back to normal. So, why are they going to take all their stuff?
The truth is that they don’t want to accept because you are no longer thinking about them and have found another person.
If this is the case, you need to be really firm and ensure they comprehend the situation because it is.
11) They’re thinking about coming back to get it
Maybe they didn’t have enough time to seize all their stuff and are planning on coming back to have it.
If they left their most favorite sweater or perhaps a couple of old books that had sentimental value to them, this means they plan on coming back to have them at some point.
Maybe they’ll wait until a period that’s convenient for you, or possibly they’ll stop by while you’re out and reclaim their belongings without needing to help you.
12) They’d rather buy new stuff
Your ex may not want to use their old stuff anymore. Maybe it makes them think of you, causing them to be feel sad.
Instead of looking at stuff that’s filled with memories of the old life together, they’ve chose to leave that old stuff behind and get new stuff.
A new beginning = new stuff.
13) They want you to find it
Maybe they deliberately left it behind simply because they want you to find it.
They realize that when they come back to obtain stuff, it might provide them with another shot at being along with you.
You see, they're hoping that you will miss them a lot that when they are available to have their stuff back, you'll encounter their arms and all sorts of is going to be forgotten and forgiven.
Their hope is the fact that while dealing with their old things, you'll remember the traditional days and how you got along in the past and realize what a big mistake breaking was.
The final point here is that they’re hoping that leaving their stuff behind will get you to create up.
14) They don’t know it’s their stuff
It’s entirely possible that they left stuff behind thinking it was yours and not realizing that it was actually something they bought.
In my experience, it takes place, especially in long-term relationships. When you live together for some time, you tend to forget who bought what and you stop labeling things as “mine” and “theirs”.
So, while you might be wondering why they left several things behind, they think of these things as yours and aren’t even thinking about them.
15) They're gifts from you
Are things that they left behind gifts of your stuff?
If your boyfriend or girlfriend has left behind everything you ever got them, maybe it's a slap hard.
They’re obviously upset about the breakup by leaving the stuff that you got them behind, they’re trying to hurt you by pretending they don’t care about your needs or your gifts.
Love rarely runs on time.
And even when it turns up, you often get hit with sudden surprises and nasty twists and turns.
That's why I made a decision to speak with among the gifted people at Psychic Source.
As I said earlier, they really solved the problem a lot.
The particular issue of my ex wanting to hurt me didn't faze them at all.
They will help you in text chat, a call or perhaps a video call also it costs a smaller amount than you may think.
What in the event you do in case your ex left stuff at the place?
A large amount of people ask me the things they must do if their ex continues to have stuff in their place.
It’s among those questions that doesn’t really have the right or wrong answer because everything depends upon your individual situation and just how you feel regarding your ex leaving stuff behind.
There are several ways to go about it.
You may either:
Take the stuff back, ask them to come and obtain it, or trash it.
Which one you choose is determined by how you feel about your ex and why they left the stuff in the first place.
Let’s look at these options in more detail.
1) Ask them to come and get it
If you’re annoyed that the ex left a few of their things behind, you could keep these things come and get it.
Just text them saying that you found some of their things and if they need them, they should come (at a time that suits you) and get them.
Make sure you tell them that you’ll toss the stuff out when they don’t want it.
2) Go ahead and take stuff back
Another thing you can do with the things your boyfriend or girlfriend left out provides them back. It’s as easy as that.
If you don’t want them around, simply take them over for your ex’s place.
It doesn’t need to be a big production; just drop the stuff more than one day when you’re within their neighborhood and obtain it over and done with.
3) Throw it out
If your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t come to get their stuff after you’ve asked these to, or if it’s inside a terrible state and can’t be utilized anymore, then don’t feel below par about throwing it away. If it’s trash, then that’s where it belongs.
Do you need to return your ex’s stuff?
What if you don’t wish to give back their stuff? Do you really need to?
You don’t have to give anything back, but that doesn’t mean it’s what's right to do.
How would you feel should you left something at the ex’s plus they didn’t wish to send it back to you?
How can you feel when they threw it away?
If your ex left something in your home and asked if they could get it back, you need to allow them to have it. Refusing to give it back is simply being childish.
If your ex did something terrible to hurt you and also that’s why you broke up, I totally understand your need to throw away their belongings, particularly if they have any kind of value. But believe me, it’s better to resist that urge and be the bigger person.
What stuff should you give back to an ex?
There’s a kind of unspoken breakup rule that you ought to give back certain stuff.
Think from it this way, what stuff would you want back?
If your boyfriend or girlfriend left some cash at the place or lent you some, then you should give it back.
2) Borrowed items
If you borrowed anything from your ex while you were together, anything from a magazine to some laptop, then you should give it back.
It’s not yours to help keep or use while you please.
3) Work documents
If your boyfriend or girlfriend left anything associated with the work they do at the place, you need to send it back.
It’s their property and they’ll need it.
4) ID along with other paperwork
If your ex left their ID or any other important documents or paperwork at your place, you should send it back.
These are legal documents and not something they must be without.
5) Valuable things
From a valuable piece of jewelry to a collector’s item, if your ex left something valuable at your place, you definitely need to give it back.
6) Items with sentimental value
If your boyfriend or girlfriend left something with sentimental value, like a family heirloom or perhaps a picture album, then you need to give it back.
No matter how silly you think their item might be, whether it means something to them, then they deserve to have it.
7) What you ask for
If there’s something which I haven’t mentioned previously they left out and wish back, then you need to respect their wishes.
If your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t want their stuff back, can you just throw it away?
Yes. You are able to discard your ex’s stuff when they don’t need it back and when it’s trash.
If your ex’s stuff may be worth something, like a rare book or an antique, then you should probably try and market it and make some cash.
What should you left some items at your ex’s place?
If you left something at your ex’s place that you want back, then you should ask for.
Be polite and respectful whenever you refer to them as and tell them that you’d like to come and get your belongings. Hopefully, they'll give your stuff back, much like you'd give their stuff to them.
But when they don’t wish to provide your stuff back, then you've to ask yourself if you want it back. If you can live without it, then it's best to just let it go. If it's stuff that has value, then that's a different story.
If your boyfriend or girlfriend will not provide you with back something of value, you'll be able to either go with some friends and then try to make him provide you with your stuff back, or, you should speak to a lawyer.
How do you provide your ex their stuff back?
This depends upon how you left things together with your ex and just how you feel about seeing them:
- Now, if you parted ways as friends, you'll be able to let them know to prevent by to have their stuff. Or you may want to meet them for coffee and give it well their things then.
- However, if you're still emotional over the breakup and have no desire to call at your ex, you'll be able to ask one of your friends to help you out and take your ex’s stuff to them.
What in case your ex purchased a lot of the furnishings and household appliances?
If you lived with your boyfriend or girlfriend and they bought the majority of the furniture and household appliances, then you need to speak to them and see what they need to do.
Do they want to take the stuff together?
Do they want to let it rest?
If you want to keep it, you need to offer to pay for it, that’s only fair.
Should you allow back the gifts that the ex gave you?
Now, here’s the million-dollar question: is it necessary to return the gifts that the ex gave you?
The answer is no.
You can keep them if you wish to. You don’t have to return something that they gave you, ever.
This is really a tough pill for most people to swallow because they’re accustomed to returning gifts after a breakup or divorce, but guess what? You don’t need to!
Your ex gave you those things which makes them yours to help keep.
Even if it would be a pricey gift (like an engagement ring), it’s still yours and you can do whatever you want with it.
If your boyfriend or girlfriend has a problem with it, then tough luck! It’s not your fault that they’re being childish and seeking to create themselves feel better by looking into making you feel bad about keeping something that they gave you.
Well there you have it, we've covered from why your ex leaves their stuff behind after a breakup as to the you should do using the gifts they gave you.
But breakups could be complex and understanding an issue can be just the beginning.
I mentioned Psychic Source earlier. I recommended them because of my own positive experience, and i am optimistic they can do the same for you personally.
Their spiritual advisors understand an enormous amount about breakups and dealing with exes.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it may be very helpful to speak with rapport coach.
I know this from personal experience-
A couple of months ago, I reached to Relationship Hero after i was going through a difficult patch in my relationship. After being lost within my thoughts for so long, they offered me a unique understanding of the dynamics of my relationship and how to have it fixed on the right track.
If you haven't heard about Relationship Hero before, it's a site where experienced relationship coaches help people through complicated and hard love situations.
In just a couple minutes you can connect with a professional relationship coach and obtain tailor-made advice for the situation.
I was amazed by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.