“In Is There Still Sex in The City? Bushnell looks at love and life all angles-marriage and kids, divorce and bereavement, along with the very real pressures on women to maintain their youth and also have everything.”
– Candacebushnell.com
Candace Bushnell, the author of the book and TV series, Sex in the City, includes a new book out today that chronicles her life navigating dating over 50 these days, Is There Still Sex in the City?
I pre-ordered the book and will be diving into it when it arrives. You are able to too .
You likely watched some or all of the Sex within the City episodes, and/or browse the book. Bushnell was masterful at defining a large amount people who have been clumsily navigating life in the 90s; searching for love, sex, and a seat in the business table.
Ahhh- the angst.
Thinking about Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda-I wonder the way they could be coping with all the challenges we face living in america and world as a woman in her own 50s, 60s, and beyond.
Welp, based on all of the pre-release buzz, don't expect to discover.
The Ny Times says “this is a very different voice from that in 'Sex and also the City,' both chaste and chastened.”
Bushnell apparently does address dating and sex after 50. You'll without doubt connect with her method of the subject:
She says that “dating 3 decades ago was actually fun.” She missed it this way now.
“I wanted to call the book 'Middle-Aged Madness,'” Bushnell told LA Times magazine. “You have to realize that previously nobody thought that fifty-something people would need to continue dating apps and take their clothes off in front of strangers. Nobody ever thinks that that is what their fifties are going to seem like.”
Amen to that particular.
The toughest challenge? Not sex in the city. It’s becoming invisible.
Aside from sharing some Tinder stories and the like, it appears Bushnell also addresses what she finds to become her true enemy: ageism. Within the NYT article, Bushnell offers the perfect metaphor with this.
She says that the bank told her their algorithm won't let them give her a home loan because she would be a self-employed single woman over 50. “Because I'd no applicable boxes,” she says, “I was no longer a demographic. Which meant, in the realm of algorithms, I did not exist.”
Ah ha, the best challenge of aging as a woman: becoming invisible.
You know what I'm referring to.
Becoming less noticed, less desired, having to work doubly hard to make ourselves heard and seen. That's a fact jack for ladies over 50, unless there exists a hell of a large amount of power – think Nancy Pelosi, Oprah, Jane Fonda.
For most us, regardless of whether we're laying out a brand new strategy in the boardroom; attempting to order a cocktail in our local lounge; or hoping the attractive, active older gentlemen find us online-it's harder to get eyes and ears on us.
Hell, our way of life are not even close to over! So, how to proceed?
Just like burning our bras in the 1970s and refusing to become pigeon-holed as second-class citizens, once more our generation is around the forefront of another revolution.
The thoughts of my colleague and friend, writer and speaker Barbara Hannah Grufferman, provides for us excellent best direction here:
Make no mistake: there's a revolution brewing and ladies 50 plus are moving it forward.
We demand nothing less than a societal sea change how women over 50 are believed to be within this country. Therefore, here are a few thoughts to hold with you once we march forth about this journey …together:
Love yourself, love your life, stay as healthy as you can, move the body, learn, stay engaged, make use of your mind, keep a handle in your finances, be bold, be brave, walk with full confidence, accept style . . . after which . . . you will be aware how truly wonderful life after 50 could be.
50: It’s more than an age. It’s a movement.
Use Grace and Frankie as teachers.
The beautiful thing about being this age is we finally Can say for certain who we're, right? Or we're getting damn near to knowing.
Looking to pop-culture I believe concerning the amazing Grace and Frankie series on Netflix. Jane Fonda and Lily Tomli
n play women over 60 who're determining “who they are” after their divorces and, as they do, they unabashedly demand to appear.
Both women are beautifully portrayed as still learning, still vital but still involved in the romantic world. Are they having sex in the city? Hell yes they are!
Frankie is really a tie-dye loving free spirit who embraces meditation, her bong and saving the planet. She wears her endless expressions of emotions, in addition to her spectacular gray hair proudly.
Grace is definitely an almost always uptight, all-put-together, ambitious woman who proudly goes after her need to remain useful and significant. She unapologetically uses her martinis to wind down and laugh at herself and also the world.
These incredibly imperfect women are carried out apologizing for whoever they disappointed and whatever they didn't accomplish. They are boldly taking on the space they deserve nowadays.
No more atoning.
No more bending just like a pretzel to please.
Wrinkles, vaginal dryness, forgetfulness, creaky bones be damned-
these women of a certain age refused to be invisible.
The world saw and loved these old ladies. Why? Precisely since they're being who they are, even flaunting who they are. They're rightly going after their dreams without letting other people create barriers.
That's what Candace Bushnell appears to be doing in her new book; like she's completed in yesteryear. Letting it all out-unapologetically. A minimum of I hope that's where she's going.
Be unabashedly what you are.
How in regards to you?
So what if you're of a woman of the certain age, in midlife, a boomer, aging-whatever you want to call it!
Are you…
done with apologizing, faking it and making excuses,
ready to completely embrace your mature, capable, unique bumps-imperfections-and-all power,
and done accepting invisibility?
I have it. Jumping up and down screaming “look at me” fails when you are a 60-year-old, gray-haired, shorter-than-you-used-to-be woman. But guess what happens does work?
Just. Being. You.
And then allowing your self to appear.
That's it.
Grace and Frankie have educated us. You see…you're as special and vital as these kooky, flawed, breakable fictional characters.
Is There Still Sex in the City, Candace Bushnell?
My hope is the fact that in Candace Bushnell's new book she'll be letting her awesome 60-year-old flag fly, showing us how she's proudly engaging in the next thing of her journey as a woman-continuing to interrupt age and sex barriers together with her humor, resilience and endless creativity.
Is there still sex in the city? My guess is, hell, yes. Okay-maybe not as much. But now it's on OUR terms, girlfriend. Because it should be. Should you allow it to be.