In my post “How To Get What you would like From Men ” I told you that if you want to give a man the most wonderful gift, tell him what's going to give you happiness. Then let him do it.
Here’s a bit of that post:
When a guy cares for you or wants to impress you, he wants to get it right. He wants you to clue him in to what you like and just what you would like.
The “how” in asking for for what you want from a man is sooooo critical.
I was reminded of that when, reading the article, certainly one of my clients said, “But my ex-husband always accused me to be demanding after i requested something!”
Yep, good point. While he might have been a guy who just didn’t wish to accomplish things on her, she could have very well been asking inside a demanding way. Who likes to be demanded to do anything, right?
How to Ask a guy for which You Want and Need
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D has a must-read article on this subject. She gives such thoughtful coaching how important it's in reality on which you want…and then to ask for it.
Dr. Tessina tells you how to do this in a manner that achieves your result and at the same time letting your man feel proud and happy he did something to please you.
When talking about the gender differences, she says, “women need to know how you can ask men for what they need directly, and in a rational, not emotional manner.” She procedes to say, “men respond far better to ‘honey, will you take out the garbage?’ rather than a whiney ‘the garbage can is overflowing, and it smells bad.’
Dr. Tessina helps make the critical point that there is a huge difference between asking and demanding:
She says, “you are able to tell the difference because when you're asking, you can handle getting a no answer.”
Here are her directions in summary:
1. Get clear by what you would like.
2. Produce a good atmosphere.
3. Simply state what you want.
4. Be ready to accept a “no.”
Be certain to read Dr. Tessina’s full article Requesting What you would like.
In the world of mature dating, Dr. Tessina and I agree that it’s your responsibility to understand how you can ask without demanding. It’s an art, as well as requires some practice.
If you’re expecting your guy to determine what you would like, more often than not you’re going to feel rejected and disappointed. And there’s pointless with this!
When you give him an opportunity to make you happy, he'll likely do it. IF he knows how!
Helping him know how to please you inside a kind and non-threatening way will make your dating, relationship, or marriage more fulfilling and happier for you personally both.
Now go! Browse the article Asking for which you Want.