I havenrrrt heard of you however in my younger years I thought I knew everything there was to understand about love and relationships. I knew what I wanted and I thought I could make it happen because of my own striving.
When I remember my twenties, I’m equally embarrassed and humbled at all the lessons I have had to understand over my life (some easier or even more difficult than others!).
As a future writer, I like to read many different types of blogs. From fashion to natural living, spirituality, and lifestyle blogs, I just eat them up. One sort of article with a few quantity of regularity, are posts where the author gives advice to their younger, single self.
I am always drawn to the type of blogs. Even when I disagree using the writer, I've found the assorted perspectives and experiences of people fascinating.
At no more your day, hindsight is 20/20. Ideally, hopefully all of us learn from our mistakes or past experiences. If I could go back and tell my single self how to take advantage of this time, here are a few (of the numerous!) a few things i would say to my younger Patty self:
I wish I went to counseling sooner
Each people come with our own set of baggage and wounds. On some level, I believe many of us could benefit after some counseling over the journey of life.
I visited counseling off and on for generalized anxiety a little during senior high school and college. However i never felt like I had been growing as a person or learning tools in my emotional overall health. When problems began to disrupt my marriage, I entered counseling like it would be a second job.
Slowly, I began to realize all the things Irrrve never handled prior to getting married. I began to do the deep soul work Irrrve never saw or thought I needed.
Guess what happened? My life was radically transformed. I'm not the same woman I was five or six years back. While my “Patty-ness” remains the same, I have and then become a more whole, healed form of myself.
Don't delay getting help if you want it. You're worth the time and effort!
I wish I learned to love myself more
From the time I had been a little girl in junior high I haven't felt comfortable or at home within my physical body. I did not love myself very well. Thinking back, I can remember constantly thinking I wished I had been like several another girls around me. I wished I had been prettier, popular, thinner, or even the type boys danced with in the school dance or flirted with in the roller skating party.
The lies I absorbed and picked up about my worth and physical body were harmful in additional ways than a single. There is a lot toxicity I believed about myself that was just not true. As I went to counseling and started to work through my past wounds, I began to determine myself differently.
One of the many tools that solved the problem was praying daily (often many times a day!): “Jesus help me to determine and love myself the way that you need to do.”
I wish I continued more dates
I had a skewed view towards dating in lots of ways, perhaps a bit too scrupulous.
Looking back I wish I continued more dates, and I think single Catholics is going on lots of dates before settling down inside a serious relationship. Why?
Going on lots of dates helps you practice the fine (and sometimes tricky) art of dating well. Dating helps you fine tune what you are looking for inside a partner and what would be the things you cannot stand or most important qualities you are looking for in a man or woman.
Going on more dates helps you get to know yourself better, understand your personal thoughts and desires while practicing trusting your instincts.
Go on lots of dates. Most probably, appear for the life, and allow you to ultimately be amazed.
I wish I did not locate a husband to fulfill me
One of the most popular lies I swallowed up as an insecure twenty something was the parable that getting a good Catholic husband would fulfill me. I had been married at twenty-six. When I was thirty-one, I was divorced, annulled, and slowly prepared to dip my toes back into the dating world with a brand-new perspective.
Before I got married, I thought the “right” Catholic man would fulfill or complete that which was without me. Areas I did not love myself I figured could be filled through the love of a husband. I wanted to be loved badly and thought a husband would help me love myself better.
False. That never works.It has been nine years since I clung to that particular lie. Now, I’m so grateful I ignore it and threw it out.
Don't search for or marry someone because they fulfill or complete you. Your own beautiful life should be full or rich with no spouse, so that when you meet the right person someday they're a lot more like an enhancement, a sweet surprise.
Relationships should not be what fulfill us this side of Heaven, but deep down we hopefully know that Jesus is the just one that really satisfies.
I am not an expert in lots of areas, but I do know the recommendation I'd give my single self could be very different from things i used to believe.
Are there some things you want you'd done differently when you were single?
What have you learned through those experiences?