The first date. It may be equal parts excitement and nerves.
I’m sure a lot of us have an array of first date stories, both good and not so great. I had one man show up forty-five minutes late (yes you read that correctly!) for a date after he was the one who chose the some time and day to meet. Another first date started with coffee and ended with floor seats to some Carrie Underwood concert. I had another first date where we met for coffee in a local Italian bakery/store because our mutual favorite city was Assisi.
Whether a first date is really a home run or otherwise, I think there are some helpful principles to bear in mind once we appear as our authentic self, while treating another the way we wish to be treated. Here are five things to always do on the first date.
I realize it sounds a little over-simplistic, however this is really true! Appear as your unique, authentic self. Bring your real personality with that first date.
I have discovered first dates are extremely much more enjoyable when I practice this mindset. Plus, a radiant demeanor and confidence are so striking when it comes to dating.
The right person will invariably adore you for you personally, so just be yourself. Regardless of how the date goes, realize that you are worthy of love. The right person notice stand out.
Always say “Thank you”
As a woman, I’ve discovered that most men almost always offer to cover the drinks, meal, or whatever we are enjoying together. I usually be sure to thank a guy for doing it.
Then, I’ll take time to affirm a guy for doing it or planning our time together. I’ll thank him for the delicious dinner, and tell him that it feels so great to be treated to a nice meal. Or, I’ll thank him for the fun time today, and tell him which i enjoyed getting to know him more.
Your first date may not be an appreciation connection, and there may not be a second date for you personally. However, always make the effort to say thank you and express your appreciation when someone goes out. It's really a kind thing to do.
Look for similar interests and experiences
If you're going out on to start dating ? with someone you met via internet dating, you'll already have seen their profile and will likely have a sense regarding their likes or interests. Listen well for your date and ask good follow-up questions you want to learn more about.
If you will find similarities in your interests, talk and share about those more together. This can be a helpful way to keep conversation moving and lightweight, without feeling as if you have to fill every second with talk.
Have a next step
As you depart an initial date, you’ll have in all probability a feeling of you need to see this person again, or if this can be a relationship you don't want to pursue. Pay attention to your gut and trust yourself, but possess a next step ready in your mind.
If you had a great time and would be thinking about another date, thank them for the fun time and inform them you would like to get together again sometime. For me, I would either say this in person or send just a little thank you text afterwards.
However, knowing you wouldn't be open to some second date, no worries, that is okay too! I've got a helpful formula a girlfriend taught me regarding how to kindly turn a man down. I begin with a genuine compliments and share my intuition that we are not the right romantic fit.
Here's what it would sound like: “Thank you so much for dinner yesterday, Steve. I really appreciated how attentive you had been listening to me and enjoyed learning all about flying of your stuff. My intuition is telling me we are not the right romantic fit, and I would like to be honest and upfront with you about this. If only the finest in your search for love.”
Pray towards the Holy Spirit
Before I ever continued to start dating ?, I'd always say a prayer to the Holy Spirit. Mine went something similar to this: “Holy Spirit, make it so clear in my experience basically ought to be available to this or something further with this man. Allow it to be abundantly clear. Fill me with your peace.”
Your prayer could also be as simple as “Come Holy Spirit, come Holy Spirit.”
This was so important for my Catholic love life. Praying towards the Holy Spirit and requesting his help allowed me to get out of the way in which and rely on God, both when i went on the date and when I went home afterwards.
This prayer practice has helped me trust myself and depend on God more as I dated.
Don't overthink a first date. Have fun and smile. Don't allow your anxiety or any awkwardness leave you unsettled. Appear, be open, and most likely you will have a wonderful time!