Let’s be honest, Catholic dating can be overwhelming sometimes. What should you say in conversation? Are you currently making a good impression on the first date? These questions could be more consuming than picking out that perfect outfit.
Here at Catholic Singles, we get a lot of questions from online dating users about what is and isn’t appropriate for those who are in a relationship having a Catholic man or woman. One of the most frequent questions we see is internet dating users wondering if it’s okay to be friends with someone from the opposite sex.
This is a superb question, but it is yet another frustrating one because we can’t answer it directly. Why? The answer depends on lots of factors.
Is the friendship one which you need to maintain between an ex-girlfriend or having a girl you have been friends with since grade school? Is the person a man who you're may be a tiny bit attracted to, or is it purely platonic?
If you are a good Catholic dating a great person, the question of whether or not to have friendships with members of a potential partner is completely valid.
So let's take a look at some essential things to consider when creating this decision.
Are you drawn to them?
If you’re discerning this friendship, your gut answer is probably, “Of course not!” But if you want to be completely honest within this discernment, you need to spend some time thinking about this. If you are completely happy in your dating relationship, it's possible for attractions to exist elsewhere.
It’s one thing to think a guy is cute, although not experience any real draw to him. It's another to daydream about what it would be enjoy being in a relationship with him.
If you're absolutely positive that there are no feelings brewing beneath the surface, there is no reason do not be able to have or maintain a healthy friendship. But let's say you've butterflies inside your stomach or you end up daydreaming when his or her name comes up? It's probably a good idea to step away, for now at least.
Is the friendship with someone you accustomed to date?
Many opposite sex friendships can appear harmless from the outside, much more reality, they can be bad for your dating relationship.
Let's examine the ex boyfriend/girlfriend situation. I'll go first. Not so long ago I had been engaged for an awesome guy. He was my mate, which is why I thought for sure that when we split up, we're able to remain friends.
When I drove to his apartment to return the ring however, he had a different view of how things should go. He earned it perfectly clear that for him it had been any nothing. There was no among.
But what if we'd tried to remain friends? Our friendship may have caused problems when my next partnership began. There might happen to be issues that would have arose when my ex saw me with someone new.
On the other hand, wouldso would the person you're dating experience getting your ex in their life? If it could be uncomfortable on their behalf or for you, it should be a good idea to leave the friendship previously.
Are you able to define this friendship?
It could be impossible to completely lock ourselves away and steer clear of a potential partner. The world successfully involves men and women cooperating on a daily basis and many of these form great relationships.
There are many places to strike up friendships with people in a potential partner. You could be friends with someone of the opposite gender at the job. These are good friendships to have! If you’re likely to spend eight hours a day with people, it’s vital that you get along with them.
You could have friendships with people from the opposite gender you know in casual settings, like in the club. I took a kickboxing class in a local gym for many years plus some of my best friendships came out of that certain hour every week. There were both women and men friendships that blossomed in that class plus they never interfered with boyfriends, girlfriends, or spouses.
Or, you could form good, healthy friendships inside your parish community. Actually, the best friendships and community may come from the people you meet at church.
But throughout these situations, you’ll need to make sure you can define the objective of your friendship in order to make the relationship exercise. Define those boundaries and stick to them.
Does this friendship make you a much better person?
Is the friendship increasing your quality of life? Will it cause you to happier like a person? Could it be a mature, deep rooted friendship? Does it bring you closer to God?
Asking these questions will help you determine if your relationship with your friend is a healthy one. It's imperative to make sure your friendships outside the relationship are wholesome ones.
Consider how your partner feels concerning the friendship. Is he or she okay with it? Does it bother them whatsoever?
If there are any issues, examine what they're and what is causing them. Evaluate the points above and address them directly. If you're both confident with each other's friendships, that's a good sign that situations are as they should be.
Is mtss is a healthy, happy friendship?
Catholic dating could be fun and exciting, however it does not mean you have to completely rearrange your previous friendships.
If you have a childhood friendship that's lasted over time, also it just is actually with a guy or girl, that's okay!
Even new friendships between opposite sexes can be fine as long as they have clear and defined boundaries.
The thing is to know if and when a friendship is not healthy or beneficial and also to step from it if and when that occurs.
If you should check the boxes on a healthy, good friendship with safe boundaries, do it now!