When you are looking at dating apps, it sometimes can seem to be like we're doing our best but yield zero results. We're getting matches but when you are looking at actually meeting people, it's crickets.
If you're feeling completely burnt out and frustrated by dating apps, it might mean that you aren't using them properly. Here are a few signs that it might be time to switch up the way that you're using dating apps.
In order to be successful on online dating apps — or dating period — your head needs to be in the game. What this means is being online since you wish to, you know, actually date people. If you discover you're obligaswiping — swiping via a dating app and liking anybody who looks decent since you feel like you “should” put yourself out there while you don't really want to date someone — it's no wonder you are not meeting people. Just because you're single doesn't mean you need to be online or dating. Being single isn't a symptom that needs to be cured. If you're not feeling the dating app scene, purchase and are available back to it when you are in the mood.
You're swiping directly on everyone and messaging nobody.
Sure, it may be fun to swipe directly on a lot of people just to see if they'll as if you back but if you're not following up those matches with conversations, what is the point? If you are waiting for everyone else to help make the first move, you're doing the work wrong. In order to meet people on dating apps, you sometimes have to be the main one to message first. So, what exactly are you waiting for?
You're not setting boundaries on your own.
Allowing apps to consume your time and effort is among the quickest and simplest ways to burn out. Rather than spending all night, every night plugged into a dating app, set a particular time slot each day when you check your favorite app and respond to messages — for instance, 8-9pm every evening. Get yourself some chill music, pour yourself some wine and focus on the task at hand.
You posess zero clear concept of what you want.
Are you looking for a romantic relationship? A one-time hookup? To obtain your feet wet within the dating scene and meet a bunch of new people? Some mixture of the above? To get what you want you first need to be aware what you want. If you discover you aren't having much luck with dating apps it could be because you don't have a clear concept of what you're looking to get out of the experience.
People message you and you don't write back.
Okay, let's be real. There are some people you're not going to write to and for good reason (i.e. those creepy and/or unappealing messages that people all receive from time to time). However, in case your matches are messaging you and you're consistently not writing back in a timely manner, you're shooting yourself within the foot. Internet dating is a two-way street and if you need to meet someone, you have to put in the effort.
Your inbox is a mess.
If your inbox is full of conversations that you have no intention of continuing (think: those exchanges that never progressed beyond “hey” or discussions of the weather), it could lead you to lose out on the folks you do want to connect with. If any one of this sounds familiar, you're ready to perform some cleaning. Delete and unmatch people that you aren't interested in. Whenever you don't feel bogged down by a couple of “meh” messages, you will have more energy and enthusiasm to funnel into meeting new people.
You're letting things linger.
Unlike previous incarnations of dating, things move fast on apps. If you're letting things linger in conversation way of too long, without pulling the trigger (suggesting a date), there's a pretty good possibility the person you're talking to will either weary or move ahead. If you feel there can be something there, go ahead and take next thing and suggest meeting in person to ascertain if there's any chemistry IRL.
You've got a couple of penpals with no dates.
Here's the situation: you're talking to a number of people that you've met on the internet and you've transitioned to texting, but you've yet to go on a real date. You tell yourself that it's okay because all of this texting will make you feel much more comfortable for this person when you do get together (which, appears to be happening…never?) Endless texting with no assurance that you'll actually hit it off personally is a waste of time. If you have exchanged a couple of rounds of messages and you like in which the conversation is going, suggest meeting up. In the end, the point of dating apps would be to help you find dates, not pen pals.