Another week, another trendy dating term to increase our collective dating lexicon. Enter,”Gatsby-ing” — a phenomenon that lots of us often will relate to.
Coined by model Matilda Dods in a piece for TomBoyBeauty.com, Gatsby-ing happens when you create lavish social media posts in hopes that your crush might find them.
The term was inspired by Jay Gatsby from the Great Gatsby who threw over-the-top parties to draw in the attention of his love, Daisy. Gatsby-ing for millennials involves a similar kind of peacocking, however, instead of luxurious, extravagant champagne-fuelled soirees hosted at a mansion on Long Island, it all goes down on Instagram stories.
As Dods writes, “Why, instead of just sending a text to the boy that I like, am I throwing the equivalent of a champagne-soaked, chandelier swinging, Charleston dancing party on my small Instagram story?” she wrote. “All for your ceaseless green light over the water that is the attention of the boy who, let's be genuine, probably is detrimental enough for me personally anyway?”
Unlike other more harmful dating trends like Ghosting, Breadcrumbing, Caspering or Orbiting, there's nothing particularly nefarious about Gatsbying. All you're doing is living your very best life. In fact, the only person you're certain to hurt is yourself once you receive the bill its that Veuve Clicquot.
So, why bother Gatsby-ing at all? Well for starters, dating makes us all feel vulnerable and Gatsby-ing helps alleviate that. Posting a more sophisticated social networking story is a method to put yourself available without really putting yourself too much there. If you do not explicitly state what you would like from their store, but send out all the cues that you are awesome (#livingmybestlife), they can't reject you. Hey, you might even attract the interest of some other suitor.
However, herein lies the problem. The easiest and many straightforward method of getting what you want is to be direct. Here are some explanations why Gatsby-ing is not the approach to take:
- There's absolutely no be certain that your crush will decode your Gatsby-ing ways.
You can't expect individuals to be social networking detectives. Not everyone partcipates in social media in the same way or extent. They may begin to see the post, like it and move on. I know from experience and from discussing this with male friends, that guys don't always read into things the same way some women do. It's a hundred times more efficient to simply text the person and let them know that you're interested in understanding them much better than waiting around until they figure it out by themselves.
- It may totally backfire.
Like once they help you living the good life making the assumption that you are too busy guzzling bubbly to grab a craft beer together sometime at a local dive bar. Plus, there is a thin line between living well and documenting it on social media, and specifically creating content on social media to flaunt how well you're doing. The second connotes insecurity.
- Just text them.
Seriously. Just do it. Every day life is so short. All the time spent creating sophisticated thirst traps on IG could be time invested in getting to know someone personally. They may not even be worthwhile or they might be awesome. You may never know if you don't come out from behind your phone.