In the 1994 Friends episode, “The One using the Blackout,” Ross contemplates asking out Rachel. However, as he shares his plan, Joey says, “it's not going to happen.” He explains to Ross that he's simply waited too long and now he's within the dreaded “friends zone.” Since that point on, the term has become a ubiquitous a part of modern dating vocabulary.
Urban Dictionary defines the Friend Zone as, “A particularly aggravating metaphorical place, that people find themselves in when someone they are interested in only wants to be friends. It is impossible to get over someone while in the friendzone, because, as friends, you still see them too often for them to be erased from your memory, and yet, you cannot be with them how you want.”
However, around an unrequited crush may go through well, crushing, is being friend-zoned really badly once we allow it to be to be? In honor of New Friends Day (July 19), HUD, a dating app with 3 M global users, thought it'd be fun to survey 1,000 people on the act of having friend-zoned. Here's what they found out:
- Being friend-zoned is incredibly common. “Over three-quarters of people have been make the friend zone and the same amount have also used that excuse to stop dating someone,” shares HUD. Quite simply, it will happen the best of us.
- Stop attempting to date your friends. Just stop. Because the researchers at HUD explain, “you're more prone to be friend-zoned by someone you had been friends within the first place. Two thirds of folks that have put someone in the friend-zone said that their suitor was someone these were friends with first.” It seems sensible — once you've spent time with someone just like friends, they are able to start to feel almost like they're a part of your loved ones. Once this happens, it's not easy to envision your partner like a potential romantic partner. In the event that you're continually hitting a wall when it comes to attempting to date your friends, it's a sign that you should leave things be and instead, head outdoors of your friend group to date.
- “I like you better as a friend” According towards the folks at HUD, this phrase may be the top method for letting someone know you just want to be friends. It's followed by “I'm not ready for a serious relationship” and “I simply want to date casually at this time.” While it may be disappointing to listen to this stuff from someone you need to have a partnership with, keep in mind that they're allowing you to down in a respectful and mature way. They may avoid seeing a romantic future along with you however they like you enough to still want to be your friend — and that's pretty awesome.
- The Friend Zone isn't end of the world. The survey found 83 percent of individuals believe that women and men can just be friends, which is very good news!
While it sucks to possess romantic feelings for someone and never have them be returned, it's the perfect time for all of us to stop demonizing the Friend Zone. There's a lot nuance which goes into human attraction. Not everyone can be physically drawn to everybody else. It's important that we stop thinking of the words “I like you better as a friend,” like a rejection — same applies to the Friend Zone in general. Remember: anybody who doesn't value being in the Friend Zone, doesn't value being friends with the opposite gender — and that's the actual tragedy here.