The very first time I knew that my ex-partner could be there for me in happy times and bad, was when we were on vacation in Greece and missed our ferry. There i was, in a foreign country with the next ferry not leaving for another fourteen hours. While it could have been easy for us to panic (it felt like our whole day/night was ruined!) my ex took everything in stride, remaining cool as a cucumber.
It wasn't ideal, but as he said on that day, “we'll just make the best of it” — which we did. I'm prone to anxiety, so seeing how he reacted to being stranded for fourteen hours helped me feel a lot more at ease. We ended up having a very good day. I knew that whenever more difficult stuff came up within our relationship, we'd have no problem handling it together.
Relationships aren't perfect. Life happens and also you usually have to cope with unexpected stuff together. So, how do you know when the person you're dating is growing rapidly as much as the task?
Here are several signs they will be there for you personally when times get tough:
- You feel comfortable speaking with them when you are upset.
Instead of brushing your troubles aside, they'll pay attention to you and permit you to speak your truth. Whether you need a hug or simply someone to listen while you vent, you feel completely comfortable coming to them when you are upset.
- They're patient and don't anger easily.
If the individual you're with gets upset within the smallest things (like when their steak arrives medium-well, instead of medium-rare), they're probably not going to fare that well when something serious pops up. You would like somebody that is patient and it is effective in keeping their anger under control when times get tough.
- They have close relationships with friends and family.
If they've close relationships with other people, there's a pretty good possibility there is a positive track record of supporting others through challenging times as well.
- They're empathetic.
Even when they haven't had to overcome a lot of adversity in life, they're empathetic with other people's struggles.
- They can discuss their feelings.
Instead of bottling up all their feelings until they inflate, they're pretty comfortable talking about the way they feel and listening to you need to do the same.
- Communication isn't an issue.
You guys talk about everything. If something challenging arises, you've got no issue addressing it using the body else (even when it is a bit awkward initially).
- They get their life together.
While this isn't a hard and set rule, should they have their life more or less together, it's going to be easier for them to give you support emotionally when things fail.
- They're not scared of your germs.
Life is not always pretty. If they're more worried about your well-being than your germs (especially when you aren't feeling 100%) it's a good sign that they're in it for the long haul.
- You've traveled together.
While exciting and fun, traveling can also be really stressful. There's flights to make, bookings to help keep track of and a lot of unpredictable factors that can pop up when you are inside a new place. Should you travel well together, this is a good sign you'll be able to handle bigger stresses and events later down the road.
- They like you in your sweatpants.
If they've seen you at the very best (dressed towards the nines and feeling on top of the world) and at your worst (sick, gross and in your sweatpants) and they're still the same towards you (caring, kind, supportive) then congrats, you've got a keeper.