With every relationship, there comes a point where you need to know exactly what's happening. It can be after you leave your fingers in their house or else you realize it's a given that you're spending all of your weekends together. Regardless of the tipping point is perfect for you, there comes a period when you need to give the relationship a label — if perhaps, to make sure you're both on the same page.
Opening up regarding your feelings to the person you're dating can seem to be a bit scary, but if a relationship is exactly what you want, here's why you owe it to yourself to have the DTR (define the connection) talk.
- You should know where things stand.
If you're investing your time and efforts to get to understand someone, at a certain point you deserve to know what your location is together. Maybe you're fine with just dating casually and getting to understand one another for the time being (and that's okay!), but perhaps it's exclusivity that you're after. Whatever the relationship status you're hoping for, you should be aware of status so that you can decide whether this is the right situation for you personally. For instance, if you've been dating for eight months and also the body else still really wants to “play things by ear,” well, it's better to know this at some point.
- You don't want to waste your time and effort.
Life seems to be getting increasingly busy and fast paced. If it's rapport you're after, you don't have time to date someone aimlessly with no idea where it's going. While having the DTR talk may be awkward, it's efficient. You deserve to know in which the relationship is going so that you can make an educated choice as to whether you need to invest more time and energy in it. Plus, who wants to spend your time wondering where someone else reaches when you can just ask?
- Relationships are built on good communication.
In yesteryear, I dated a lot of people that immediately clammed up in the mere reference to anything commitment related. If you're going to correlate of any sort, good communication is important. Whether or not the body else sees your relationship status differently, at least you've opened the lines of communication to go over it further.
- Self-labeling your relationship will lead to disappointment, hurt and misunderstandings.
Just because someone doesn't tell you they're dating others, does not mean they aren’t. Making assumptions regarding your relationship by avoiding the DTR talk is likely to result in a messy fallout. Besides, you deserve clarity on how the other person feels.
- Ambiguity is draining.
Yup. Curious about your relationship and where it is going is completely draining. If someone isn't prepared to label what you have, they're effectively saying they need you to remain in relationship purgatory. Not cool.
- If someone says they “don't have confidence in labels,” they don't have confidence in you.
If someone wants you in life, they should be in a position to communicate the way they experience you. Whether they see you as a casual date or future serious relationship potential, when they respect you, they've got the guts to be honest.
- You should be around someone who wants exactly the same thing.
If a unique relationship is what you undoubtedly want, you should be with somebody that wants the same thing. If you are both into one another, giving your relationship a label shouldn't be a big deal. In fact, they'll wish to shout it off the top of buildings! When the person is causing you to feel like you're causing problems or they’re turning your request clarity right into a big deal, then your odds are this individual doesn't deserve the title anyways.