I recall the date enjoy it was yesterday. The guy I had just starting dating was a new comer to the city and when I discovered he'd never visited the top bar in a popular hotel, I insisted we go. Incredible view, a great wine list and cute company. What could go wrong?
Well, things were going well until I mentioned I'd recently scored a brand new client at work. At that time, my date launched right into a laundry listing of his various accomplishments. He explained about how well he'd done in the last Tough Mudder competition, his Mensa membership, his black belt in karate and how he used to be recruited to become a part of a game show called “Canada's Smartest Person.” I liked the concept that he was accomplished coupled with a great deal opting for him, I just didn't like hearing him talk about himself without letting me enter a word in edgewise.
The irony was I actually liked him a good deal before he felt the need to spout off his list of accomplishments. Since that night I've learned there's a name for my date's behavior: flexing. In response to his own insecurities, he was trying to make it seem like he was “the man,” not realizing his bragging was getting the inverse effect.
Although this incident sticks out i believe, this wasn't the very first or before I experienced flexing. Like anything else in this world, flexing went digital.
Have you experienced the digital cousin of flexing in modern dating? When someone gloats or boasts about themselves over text or dating app so that they can impress you, only to have the complete adverse effect? Turns out Dating app Plenty of Fish has a reputation for this ill-advised phenomenon: Flexting.
The majority of single women (63 percent), claim that they can have experienced the Flexting craze, according to the latest survey of 2000 singles conducted by Lots of Fish.
So, how do you handle flexing or flexting? In my case, you call it out. When I remember the date I pointed out above, If only I would have said something in reaction to his behavior. If a person is flexting over an app or text, sometimes a simple peace sign emoji is all you have to exit the conversation.
But flexting is among five dating trends POF is expecting to see in 2022. Here's a few newly identified behaviors and how to cope with them.
1) Cricketing (/krik-it-ing/): Leaving someone on “read” for too much time and taking way too long to carry on the conversation. Cue the cricket chirp. Nearly all singles (67 percent) say they have waited patiently for a reply using their date, simply to receive it much later than expected.
How to deal with it:
Being cricketed sucks, but at the risk of playing devil's advocate, individuals are busy. There are quite often when I've read a note and do not reply right away since i have other things on the run. My advice: if you are hearing digital crickets, don't take it personally. Stay busy and busy. Take this being an opportunity to also reach out to other potential dates. Whether it's your use write back, be mindful of the neverending “read” message and how it could help make your love interest feel. If you don't have time for you to respond or need time for you to check your schedule or digest their message, simply let them know. Be transparent!
2) Ghostbusting (/gohst-buhst-ing/): Continuing to text someone after they've ghosted you. In 2022, a Plenty of Fish survey revealed 78 percent of single Millennials have been ghosted by someone they were dating. It looks like singles in 2022 are putting their foot down in an attempt to end this behavior, with 38 percent having experienced somebody that would not stop texting them after being ghosted. Ghostbusters believe persistence is essential to success.
How to handle it:
If you're a Ghostbuster, you have to stop. If someone hasn't replied for your last two attempts at contact, Let. Them. Go. Ghostbusting doesn't lead to healthy relationships, however it might score a restraining order. If you're on the receiving end from the Ghostbuster, it might be time for you to speak up. Inform them you're not interested in speaking with them. If you don't feel safe responding, block, block, block, block.
3) Fauxbae'ing (/foh-bey-ing/): Pretending to have a significant other over social media when you are actually single. Nineteen percent of single guys have witnessed someone pretend to have a spouse over social networking when they were actually single. Fauxbae'ing might be an attempt to create an ex jealous, or to convince a nosey family of a nonexistent partner to place an end for their consistent questioning about your love life.
How to handle it:
If you're currently uploading photos to Facebook individuals and your Faux-Bae, stop what you're doing. Who cares about what your ex thinks? They're your ex for a reason. It's 2022 and it's Alright to be single. Scream it loud and proud! And if you catch your BFF posting updates about their “amazing Canadian” and they're not discussing their passion for Justin Trudeau, it's time to stage an intervention, stat.