One of the most difficult areas of dating is suffering creepers who just won't take no to have an answer. Be it a hostile dude that approaches you in a bar and refuses to leave you alone, or perhaps an online match that is constantly on the message you despite the fact that you have made it clear you aren't interested (I remember when i were built with a guy send me the content, “How was your weekend? You need to answer me. You might be glad you did” 57 times until he eventually realized I was never going to reply and threw in the towel. I rest my case.) When you are interacting online, it's relatively easy to disregard persistent and unwanted messages. But let's say you've breached the “real life wall?” and felt compelled to provide them your contact information?
Back within the day (before online dating was standard), I recall it wasn't uncommon for my friends and I at hand out fake names and phone numbers to guys that we met whenever we lost. We weren't interested, however it just seemed easier and far better to provide them with something than to try and explain (which usually involved yelling over surface of a Nelly track played at max volume) that we just weren't that into them. However, even this tactic can backfire — years back, I was at an event when I actually ran into a guy I'd faked on. He spotted me and began calling out my (fake) name from across the room. It had been awkward – especially when he brought up the fact that I'd “written down my telephone number wrong.” Ugh.
So, what is a single person to do when they're faced with rejecting somebody that just won't take no for an answer? Well, the brand new Mary Sue Rejection Hotline offers one solution for frustrated daters. Once the person dials #(646) 926-6614, they will hear this lovely message:
“Oh hello there. If you are hearing this message, you have made a lady feel unsafe and/or disrespected. Please learn to take no for an answer and respect women's physical and emotional autonomy. K THANKKS.”
And because nobody appears to get the telephone and actually call anyone anymore anyways, gleam text option. The hotline will send the following message an hour later, giving you sufficient time for you to peace the scene.
If you are a reading this as a man and therefore are wondering, “Is this really necessary?” the reply is yes, yes, one thousand times yes. Not only is the Mary Sue Rejection Hotline amusing, it's needed.
From pursuing your dream job to re-negotiating your cable bill – we we reside in a culture where not taking no for an response is encouraged in so many areas of life. It's obvious the signals get crossed and individuals believe that it's OK to use a similar approach to their online dating lives. How many Hollywood movies have we seen in which the hero/heroine gets their love interest because he or she simply refuses to quit, despite endless obstacles?!
While sheer persistence may go in the arena of romantic comedies, in real life it is simply type of, well, creepy. Whether you're approaching someone or just being approached, here are some things to keep in mind:
1. Result in the other person feel safe.
If you ask someone for their telephone number in order to spend time with you and they seem hesitant or just straight up refuse, respect their decision and don't pester them. None of us have entitlement to anyone else's contact details or personal time. Period.
2. There is nothing wrong with simply ignoring someone's unwanted online messages.
It may seem like the cowards way out, but when you're coping with someone that's clearly message bombing the female population of an online dating site (like Mr. “How was your weekend?!”), don't feel like you even need to respond. These types of online weirdos should know better and in all likelihood aren't getting the content even if you do call them out on their behavior. Not waste time as well as your sanity.
3. Politely let them know that you're not interested.
If you are feeling like dolling out the digits towards the rejection hotline is a bit harsh, why not just be truthful and inform them you aren't interested? Be polite, but be firm. Hopefully they'll obtain the message.
4. Utilize the block function.
Most online dating sites and texting apps present an choice to block unwanted callers and messages. If everything else fails, use this option whenever needed.
My wish for the future is the fact that we'll eventually evolve enough where such things as the Mary Sue Rejection Hotline aren't needed. But until that occurs, respecting your individual boundaries and also the boundaries of others may be the initial step.