Once upon a period, I was seeing this guy which i was head over heels crazy in love with. We'd such an amazing connection – physically, mentally, emotionally. One thing I remember best about our relationship was how we'd often stay up until the wee hours of the morning just talking. I felt like we'd known each other forever and that maybe, just maybe, he was The One.
That is until one day, I made the error of logging on to his Facebook. We'd been friends on Facebook for some months before we'd started dating and I'd never noticed anything out of the ordinary. Because he worked in the public sector, he rarely posted anything other than YouTube videos of songs he was really into at that time. So, nothing might have prepared me for which I stumbled across on that day.
One thing you should probably learn about use is that i am a huge Muppets fan. In my experience, the Muppets represent childhood memories and exactly what is nice in the world. If Disneyland ever branches out into “Muppet Land,” I'll be the very first person to purchase a ticket – no matter how old irrrve become. My date knew this about me, making the following part of this story particularly perplexing.
When I clicked on his Facebook profile, the first thing I noticed was a video he'd posted of the Kermit the Frog puppet doing something so obscene, so WRONG, that nobody should have to witness a Muppet do in order to themselves or any other puppet. I had been shocked.
*Cue the immediate death of happy childhood memories.*
Did he not think I'd check this out? Even if we weren't dating, how will he possibly think posting something like this was a great ideas? They are questions I'll never get an answer to because we split up shortly thereafter for other non-Muppet related reasons. But, I will say this: not only did that video alter my childhood memories, additionally, it changed the way I saw this individual.
This is to state that, with regards to dating, that which you post on social media matters. Here are a few social media moves that might be killing your ex life without you realizing it.
1. Posting NSFW content on your social networking.
Whether it's an uncomfortably sexual video which involves puppets, or something like that equally inappropriate to look at at the office, social media isn't the place to share this stuff. Not only do you risk alienating your date, additionally, it just shows a clear insufficient good judgement. Same goes for posting anything that's sexist, racist or otherwise offensive.
2. An Instagram that's comprised of entirely of questionable memes.
I really liked this one guy until we followed one another on Instagram and I realized his entire account was nothing but shirtless selfies and bro-tastic memes about drinking and over sleeping. #romancedead.
3. Utilizing a photo of your ex as the banner image.
I have a friend who utilizes a photo of her senior high school ex-boyfriend performing (he's an artist) as the banner image on her behalf Facebook profile. They've been split up for more than a decade, but she still posts #throwback photos of these together that she tags with things like #firstlove #goodmemories #bestguyever. She's dated lots of other guys since her ex, but the relationships never seem to last lots of months. I can't help but wonder if maybe her overt devotion to her ex on social media has something to do with this? If someone I was dating was doing exactly the same thing, I'd be concerned. As a rule of thumb, it's totally Alright to have photos of your ex on your social profiles (hey, everyone has a past!) just make sure they are not the main objective.
4. Overcommitting on social networking.
I call this How to get rid of Someone in 10 Hashtags or Less. Exactly the same friend who uses her ex's photo as her banner image on Facebook also has a routine of posting couple selfies whenever she meets someone new. The photos will be captured with such things as #datenight #inlove #happycouple #love #inloveforever. She'll post some of these photos prior to the guy disappears from her feed altogether (I suppose while he went running for the hills.) Posting photos is fun, just make sure you're not defining the connection within the hashtags before you've discussed it as a couple.
5. Following them on every account, immediately.
While social networking means us to talk about our lives with the world in an exceedingly public way, that doesn't mean you need to follow everyone you date right away. I'm always a little weirded out when I go out with someone once and subsequently morning (or perhaps the same night!) they've found me on the internet and followed my Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and Yelp reviews. My suggestion: allow for a little bit of mystery. Simply because your date has public social profiles doesn't necessary imply that they would like to interact with you throughout those ways at this time.
At no more the day, few are going to take these tips to heart. While it is best to become familiar with the individual in general (instead of judging them solely according to their social media habits), someone's social networking does give you some valuable insight into who someone is as a person and just what their values are.