There's the old saying: sometimes you find love in the strangest places. But, what if that place isn't even just in exactly the same area code?
As the world becomes increasingly globalized online, it's now easier than ever to meet people online and potentially find yourself falling for someone on the other hand of the globe. Actually, according to the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships, more than 7 million people in the U.S. consider themselves to stay in an extended distance relationship.
But despite being relatively common, long-distance relationships (LDRs) tend to be looked down upon. Whenever you tell someone you're in an LDR, usually their first reaction is, “Why?” Somewhat it seems sensible. There's entire Television shows like Catfish and 90-Day Fiance dedicated to showing what goes on when long-distance online love goes terribly wrong. Also, friends want their friends to become happy and how can you be at liberty when the person you love is a large number of miles away?
There's an extended held thought that distance eventually kills romantic connections. However, interestingly enough, research from Cornell University in 2013 paints a very different picture of modern day LDRs. While examining the communication and interaction between 63 couples in long-distance relationships, the researchers discovered that although couples survive long distances, they are able to regularly be healthier than traditional relationships, too.
According towards the research outlined in Mic, when communication is important, for example in an LDR, it might be much more meaningful. In the 2013 study “Absence Helps make the Communication Grow Fonder,” professors L. Crystal Jiang and Jeffrey T. Hancock discovered that romantic pairs communicating over long distance created stronger bonds. As Dr. Jiang said, “Long-distance couples go the extra mile than geographically close couples in communicating affection and intimacy, and their efforts do pay back.”
A 2013 Queen’s University study of LDR couples also found the further apart the pair was, the better these were doing regarding satisfaction, intimacy and communication.
Thanks towards the flourish of technology like texting, Facetime and Skype, as the everyone else are splayed out on the couch with our partners, phones and the latest season of Game of Thrones, long-distance couples are utilizing this time to really talk and connect. Touché!
Plus, absence does indeed result in the heart grow fonder. Without needing to concentrate on the mundane problems of everyday life together, you are able to focus on the important stuff: creating a deep sense of intimacy and trust over the miles.
While it's exciting to listen to that LDRs aren't doomed, it doesn't mean they're for everybody. If you're thinking of messaging someone who isn't local, here are some things to consider.
- How a long way away are they? Are you willing to travel?
Could you easily drive for their city within 1-2 hours, or does visiting your web love require you purchase an airplane ticket? Before you send that first message, it's worth going for a moment to think about these questions. Will you be open to spending some time and money to understand more about this relationship? When the idea of travelling enables you to run cold or just doesn't fit with your current budget or lifestyle, you might want to stick to messaging local singles.
- Are you prepared to move to be with them?
You don't have to bring this up right away, but it's definitely something worth considering. When they live in another city, would you be willing to relocate to get along with this person? Would they be prepared to relocate to be nearer to you? If neither individuals are available to the possibility of moving, it should be not worth adopting the relationship. After all, LDRs must have an end – that's, a place once the relationship is not long-distance.
- Are you prepared to let go of the fantasy?
One of the things that makes LDRs so romantic – but also problematic – may be the sense any time you're together, it feels like you're in vacation mode a.k.a not actual life. If you are will make it work, you have to be willing to push past the vacation vibes and sort out actual day-to-day issues together.
At the end of your day, LDRs are what you model of them. Whether you decide to message a potential long-distance love interest or otherwise, everything comes down to your very own level of comfort and just what you're prepared to put in the connection.