We all have that one friend who seems to have an epic list of dating “rules” they stubbornly won't budge on. For example, they'll only date people inside a certain age range, income bracket or with brown hair and model-like looks. If they not have the abs of the fitness model, the cooking skills of Chrissy Teigen and the attractiveness of twenty Magic Mike dancers – well, just forget about it. If/when this paragon of virtue, dream lover ever shows up, they absolutely won't text them first. Because, rules. Consequently, they are perpetually single.
While there's something to become said about understanding what you want, there are specific dating rules we're able to all afford to let go of.
I was once one of these simple people who had very specific superficial attributes I had been looking for inside a partner. For instance, Irrrve never gave a second turn to blondes and only dated people from inside a certain age and ethnic group. However, in the last ten years, I have discovered something interesting: what I thought was my “type” all along is really much more broad and versatile. Some of my most satisfying dating experiences have been with people Irrrve never would have given a chance in the past. Within this sense, I'm glad I broke my own dating rules, because it exposed a lot of new romantic possibilities.
With having said that, there's a difference between “rules” and “standards.” Rules are meant to be broken. Standards (aka a fundamental degree of self love and respect) are things we should always hold dear and never compromise on.
But, wholesome diet rules, there are just a few you should always follow.
- Your time is efficacious.
You know what is a bummer? Time wasters. Be it waiting around for another person to help make the first move or holding out for your date to actually appear – always remember that your individual time is precious and you ought to treat it as a result. Don't waste time awaiting another person to inquire about you out or text you back. Make the first move. Conversely, if a person doesn't value your time and effort (for instance, they reveal up for dates late, will always be changing plans or seem not able to respond inside a prompt manner) they aren't worth your time and effort.
- Don't date with regard to dating.
Here's another thing you shouldn't waste your time and effort on: going on pointless dates with individuals you are not even thinking about so it's not necessary to be alone. It isn't fair for you or the other person. No date? No problem. Fill your time with other activities, hobbies and individuals you do enjoy spending time with.
- Don't accept anything under respect.
If your date is rude to you, the service staff or anyone period, think about this a significant red flag and leave. Same goes when they berate you for your beliefs, criticize the way you look and do or say stuff that make you feel uncomfortable. Respect is tantamount to healthy relationships. In case your date can't show respect to you or any other people, that's your cue to exit. Trust me, they'll not suddenly be a better person should you date them.
- Don't pursue someone who is already taken.
Remember things i said about wasting your time? Even if the other person appears to be in it, pursuing somebody that is already in a relationship isn't just shady as you-know-what, it's also disrespectful for you, your partner as well as their partner. Just do not do it.
- Build your own happy life first.
As soon when i was old enough to have an knowledge of romantic relationships, my mom gave me this invaluable suggestion: “Don't go searching for the right person to ‘complete you.’ That isn't a thing. Instead, develop a happy life for yourself on your own terms, and finally you'll attract somebody who has done exactly the same on their own.”
The moral here: like attracts like. If you want to find love, you need to start with loving yourself. Rapport shouldn't be seen as the best goal, but rather a tasty cherry atop of the already delicious life sundae.