Dating in your 30s is really a completely different beast than dating in your 20s.
Being inside your 30s is transitional. You're not at all old, but, when you can always seem like you're in your 20s, you've definitely learned a few things in the past decade. You're a tiny bit older, wiser and much more mature, much like the people you date (or so you hope). Despite popular narratives about “cougars” (women who go after younger men), old maids along with other so-called desperate singles, dating in your 30s can in fact be really awesome – should you allow it to.
So, whether you're reentering the dating scene like a 30-something or are continuing to carry down the fort, here are some myths you have to stop believing right away.
- All the great ones are taken.
If you are going to have success dating in your thirties, this is the first myth you need to stop believing immediately. In North America, we're now getting married after ever before, meaning lots of singles are opting to hold back on marriage until they've found the best relationship. This is all to say there are lots of excellent single 30-somethings available, just like you!
- Everyone has their life together by this age.
I've seen a lot of terrible apartments that look like the teams of Seth Rogan movies in the early aughts to understand that not everyone may have mastered the art of adulting by their 30s. Sure, many people may have good careers, be financially stable and understand how to make use of a vacuum cleaner, however this isn't necessarily confirmed. Dating inside your 30s, you'll meet people who are in various procedures in their lives. Some people may be extremely settled, others may be beginning again following a huge life or change of career. There will also be a limited number who are still living like it's freshman year. There's no wrong or right way to live. However, if living off 29-cent ramen and getting drunk every night doesn't do it for you, you are not obliged to stick around.
- Everyone you meet will probably be ready for a romantic relationship.
By time lots of people reach their 30s, they're thinking about marriage or, at the minimum, getting a committed long term relationship – although not everyone. You're going to meet many individuals on both extreme ends from the spectrum, from single people that are searching for an instant relationship to individuals who aren't thinking about dedication whatsoever. However, you'll also meet many people who fall somewhere among.
Keep in your mind, just because you are in your 30s does not mean you can't still be unsure of what kind of relationship you would like. One day you may be trying to find your soulmate. Then, your lifetime circumstances may change and suddenly something more casual sounds like an ideal fit. Long story short: we are all just trying to figure this out as we complement. Be attuned to what commitment level you would like and focus on the other people are looking for, so you can determine what actually works for you at whatever stage you're in.
- All your good years are behind you.
This concept is positively medieval and untrue. Dating in your 30s can actually be much better than dating inside your 20s. Sure, you might have more responsibility and also the stakes may feel higher, but you also know yourself and what you would like from life a lot much better than you probably did many years ago. As well as, you're more confident and also have enough life experience to acknowledge situations and individuals that are not healthy for you.
- Dating apps are only for the kids.
Um, no. This really is so not true. If you are inside your thirties or beyond, your life is probably pretty busy. You don't have time for you to visit random bars looking to meet that special someone – nor would you like to – particularly when you can find a better selection of people while swiping through your favorite internet dating apps. The reality is that online dating apps are where most people are hanging out, including individuals how old you are group. Don't knock 'em before you've tried 'em.
The sooner you forget about some of your preconceived notions about dating, the sooner you can actually get something of worth from your dating experiences. Age is simply a number, as the saying goes, but with that number comes a wealth of experience and knowledge that can help show you, so utilize it wisely!