You've just met someone online and they appear amazing. Their profile is eloquent and interesting. The messages you've exchanged are polite and engaging. Additionally they appear to be ridiculously adorable. You're ready to slowly move the relationship one stage further: texting.
A few messages in, you realize that, through text, the dynamic is… Well, totally awkward. The connection you were hoping to have is just not there and you are about one “your” rather than “you're” away from kiboshing the whole thing.
If any of the above sounds familiar, you've likely experienced exactly what the women at The Betches call ATD (Awkward Texting Dynamic). As the creation of texting has definitely made dating easier in lots of ways, it is also created a new group of hurdles. When the texting feels awkward, it's sometimes enough to kill romance right in it's tracks.
Here are several types of ATD scenarios you will probably have encountered.
1. There's zero chemistry via text.
Not everyone is great over text. That's the truth. However, it can be disconcerting when you're really trying to get some type of cadence happening and the body else is giving you nothing in exchange:
You: Hey, it's awesome for connecting! What are you up to a few days ago?
Them: Not much.
You: That's cool. I will a bluegrass festival on Friday, but I'm free Saturday. Wish to accomplish something?
You: Any suggestions?
Them: Nope. You?
Ahhhhh, the dreaded “K.” Over text, this person seems to have the personality of the plain baked potato and their monosyllabic responses are totally passive aggressive – or are they? Before you decide to read an excessive amount of to their texting style and write them off completely, try meeting them in person. They might suck on the phone, but might be super participating in person… Or not. You may never know until you try.
2. You aren't sure if they're kidding or they’re a weirdo. (Or both?)
We all need to make a great impression when engaging in textual communication, but sometimes the need to be clever and showcase your witty, intellectual prowess can backfire – particularly when one individual just overlooks it. This is particularly awkward when you're not really sure if the other person is trying to become funny and sarcastic, or they just have super strange social skills (or perhaps it's all of the above?)
Them: Well, I'd totally come meet you right now, however i have to warn you: I remember when i killed a girl with my smile. Are you currently prepared?
You: Noted. I'll be sure to wear sunglasses.
Them: To quote Dr. Phil, “hold your horse, Missy!” This cowboy doesn't think that's allowed only at that rodeo.
Wait, what? At this point it's unclear what is happening. May be the date a go? Will your partner continue to make a mixture of equestrian references? Did Dr. Phil really say that? Shall we be held said to be laughing? What's HAPPENING.
The lesson here: sometimes the best way to create a good first impression would be to you need to be concise and clear. Ask the person out. Set a period to satisfy. Be friendly. If you are on the receiving end from the last message above, go ahead and take reigns of the conversation (see what I did there?) and be direct. Ask where you should meet them. When they continue to “horse around,” it might be an indication that you ought to pass on this one.
3. They text just like a 13-year-old from 2006 who can't spell plus they use LOL as punctuation.
Them: sup. How r u?
You: I'm good. How are you?
Them: Your hot lol what r u up 2 lates?
You: I have plans, but I'm free on Thursday.
Them: lol totes awk maybs hang thurs lol?
As any parenting expert will tell you, kids improve by example. If you're still thinking about this individual while they write just like a character from Entourage, don't model their terrible texting skills. Use your words. If you're lucky, they will follow your lead.
4. Your spontaneity doesn't mesh at all.
You're sarcastic. They don't seem to have a sarcastic bone in their body. You make a witty quip. They give a meme of the turtle farting. You're confused. They're probably confused, too. The romance is dying through the second. Can this textual relationship be saved? Maybe. Fart memes aside, a compatible sense of humor is an extremely important part of a contented relationship. If you cannot laugh together then exactly what do you've? When the body else doesn't realize that you're kidding when you say, “I get our hair inspiration from Carrot Top,” this probably won't work.