A couple of years ago, one of my best guy friends was helping me pack before I moved into a new apartment. Because he was helping me wrap knickknacks in newspaper, we found a box of photos I had saved from college. In this particular box: photos of almost every dude I'd dated since high school. As my pal Chris combed through the photos, I introduced the important thing players. When we reached the end of the trip down memory lane, he had one comment: “I know these are different men, but they all look like exactly the same guy.”
Chris was type of right. I've always known I've got a physical type. Generally speaking, I like dark-haired men with an athletic physique. Although the men he singled out were of different heights, eye-color and ethnicities, they all had something about the subject that was similar. I can not quite put my finger on it, but my pal noticed it right away.
If you are feeling like you're always dating the same kind of people, you may be right, based on science. A new study from the University of California, Davis brings together the outcomes of three different studies, which together checked out the characteristics of individuals in additional than 1,000 past and present heterosexual relationships. The outcome: the research found that the people we date are similar, both physically and personality-wise.
To reach this conclusion, data was collected from participants through social networking sites and live interviews carried out during the last couple of years. According to primary author Paul Eastwick, the study differed from other studies because it looked at people’s relationships over time and not at just one committed relationship.
Here's the things they were able to determine and what it means for our dating lives.
1.With regards to looks, past partners do have similar physical appearances.
This holds true for both casual and long-term relationships. Based on the research, when it comes to observable qualities like attractiveness, exes show similarities because attractive people seduce other attractive people. This will make sense to some extent. Perhaps I go after the same types of physical types because I've had success in dating or seducing them previously. However, the leaders of the study were also careful to point out that other similarities could be influenced by environment.
2. Environment matters.
The study also looked at the ex-partners of several hundred young adults in schools over the United States and found that a person’s exes were rather much the same on variables for example education, religiosity and intelligence. Because some qualities, like education and religion, vary based on where you live, similarities are found because educated or religious people are more likely to meet each other, not because educated or religious people actively select one another.
In other words, whom you date often depends on your geographic area and just what circles you run in, which makes a lot of sense. I tend to be drawn to ambitious, creative and smart men. Consequently, almost all of my exes are university educated – not because I don't date men who aren't, but because these are just the people I meet. I've always lived in large urban cores and interacted within social groups with peers of the similar educational background.
The question is, can you change your type? Although the study definitely implies our dating types are rather ingrained, I'm sure it's possible to change course and date outside your usual type – both physically and characteristically.
Although I've always had a preference for clean cut, dark-haired gents, since moving to a different area of the country, I've needed to adjust my expectations because my typical kind of guy doesn't exist within large numbers. I've experimented with dating light-haired dudes with athletic bodies, dark-haired dudes with dad bods and all things in between, and also have found that the physical type I'm drawn to is really much more broad than I initially thought. I still love a clean-cut dude, but have discovered that in this city I actually convey more that is similar to the artsy, hipster guys. The lesson here: don't be afraid to experiment and meet as many different types of people as possible.
“Do people have a kind?” Eastwick said, “Yes, but may it reflects your individual desirability and sometimes it reflects where you reside.” We can't necessarily change our personal desirability, but we can change our location. If the types of people you're meeting are not performing, try interacting inside a different social circle. For instance, if you're tired of dating jocks, maybe try attending several art openings. If cooler-than-thou hipster types will work your last nerve, ditch your usual ultra-hip dive bar and instead attend a charity event for a cause in which you're interested. Move cities or neighborhoods if you feel inspired. Switch your location and you'll find exactly who you are looking for.